after one long season of waiting

1) The lemon balm and mint I had last year are sprouting leaves in my back porch planter. I wasn't expecting anything to come back, since I was pretty sure my back porch was deadly for plants. Hooray for being lazy and not pulling things up when they died back last year! (I also have a giant mango seed I want to try to germinate, but I kind of doubt that's going to work out at all.)
2) I have this idea that involves zombies and lately it's been like each brain cell that's thinking of zombies is infecting the nearest cells as well. Within a few days I think my brain will be producing nothing but thoughts about zombies. Oh well.
3) I keep thinking it's Friday because of catastrophic failure at work. My brain has just decided that this week is over, whether the inexorable march of time agrees or not.
4) It seems like another migration to Dreamwidth is underway. I'm probably not going to give up until LJ dies completely (or at least until something other than scans_daily shows up on my reading page). But, should we all disappear here, I'm still evilhippo over there. (And I have two invite codes, should anyone need them.)
5) I keep wanting to rewrite my entry from last night so I can compare my 1am style to my 10pm style but... I think I probably have enough writing to do. (There's so much stuff that's missing! But I'm pretty sure you'll all live just fine without extra information about what John Darnielle was wearing and exactly how many people were playing the piano during the encore.)

( Word of the week: Topography. )

tl;dr Staple remover architecture. Topograhy! Food cart anarchy. How to kill a golf ball. Real seafood comes from the sea. Topography! I got a crew too (and we did a drive-by on Timbaland). Are you tired of the lj-user links yet? Water falls from the sky and off of topography. Water lurks on the shore. I get tired of the blow-by-blow and the language gets a bit out of hand. Squishy adorable sea things. Apocalypse dunes. Stalker rainbows. Where you can sea lions. (Also: topography!)

I've had "Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We're Famous" in my head for like, four days WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, look_alive?!

There may come a time when you ask yourself "What does evilhippo make of Portland?" At that time, this may not be the best place to look, since I'm writing this on about 4 hours of sleep, most of which was on trains and planes. But! So far Portland has been about sandwiches and food carts and things that are not flat and sushi on conveyor belts and buildings that look like (and are) from the old west. Also my complete failure at having seen or read anything useful, the habit of forgetting what I'm looking for anytime I am within 15 feet of a bookstore, a poor misguided hipster cat that apparently harbors an affection for my bag (and shredding my hand), and people I've never heard of being the equivalent of 9 small dogs and a pretzel. Oh, and donuts shaped like people and full of delicious jelly.

So, to summarize: Portland is about food, weird things, and food. Only time will tell if I'm correct in this. We'll see tomorrow, I suppose.

Somewhere, there is a shark. And after Bombshells (Hulu linkage), I'm not sure which side of that shark House is on. In as few non-spoilery words as possible: I have never seen regression look more like Glee. The entire episode is a collage of different genres, and while that is one of my favorite things to do, ever... it's a freaking weird way to cover something that is such a serious part of the show's mythos. And by the time we got to the musical number... Actually, the best explanation for the weird dissonance that produces is to have you watch it, but the only place it exists is on iTunes (here) and though it's free, if anyone else's computer hates HD video in iTunes as much as mine does that isn't going to do you much good. That number is just so weird that my immediate reaction was to put my hands over my face and watch it from between my fingers (which is how I always watch Glee, so maybe it has more to do with musical television in general, but...). But the thing I really couldn't shake? How much the whole visual style seemed to have been very thoroughly influenced by Panic! At the Disco or something. (Maybe it's the eye makeup, I just don't know.) Now that I've watched the video a couple of times outside the context of the episode, though, it's... still weird, but not nearly as much so. It stands up a little better as a kind of diversion than something in the middle of an episode (at a turning point, even). But now I want to tear into it as metaphor for what was really going on in that scene, because I know it's more than slightly awkward caduceus-themed steamgoth pastiche.

I also love that Hulu sometimes has the habit of posting little interviews with the writers of episodes, because I'm getting ready to level the literary scalpel again this episode (it's begging for it; 3/4 of it is in metaphor anyway), and I like to know exactly what I'm supposed to be looking for with "authorial intention." (I always find it kind of weird when writers speak with utter certainty about the nature of their characters. Then again, I don't have any characters of my own, so I have to take an uncertain stance toward what I write.) Between this and Bones, I think there is some meta coming up about TV Relationships and Audience Expectations vs Authorial Obligation to the Story.

Because I am also occasionally capable of planning ahead... it turns out I'm going to Pitchfork Music Festival again this year. I missed last year because 1) 3-day passes sold out quickly and 2) I didn't much care for the initial line-up. But so far this year we have Animal Collective, Cut Copy, TV on the Radio, Fleet Foxes, Woods, Destroyer... and that alone checks off a good number of Bands I've Been Meaning To See. Then there are the rumor lists, which host a few other Usual Suspects that I'd be more than happy to see. (I love the rumors that Arcade Fire will show up, but do I think it'll actually happen? Not really. Would my summer be that much more awesome if I could check them off of my list? Of course. Would I be surprised if, if they were actually playing, Pitchfork kept them a secret until after tickets were sold out just to be completely ridiculously obnoxious? No... no I would not. And so, if I was going to entertain a conspiracy theory... that would be the one I'd pick.)

So! Anyone going to be in Chicago in mid-July that wants to come along? We'll wear skinny jeans and flannel shirts and I'll give you a ride on the back of my bike (we'll be so two years ago, it'll be awesome).

I've bought... a lot of concert tickets in the last few weeks. It kind of makes up for last year being particularly barren in that regard.

Spam spam spammity spam, sorry. Anyone else notice how I occasionally have these phases where I'm all "doom, gloom! everything is useless I am useless blah!" and then a few days later "screw all of this, I am going to do ALL OF THE THINGS until I feel better"? Because I am definitely noticing a pattern.

I was semi-reliably informed today that Chicago is "finally hip". We've pulled up alongside New York City, apparently because in the last ten years or so we've become shinier (in reality, we are shinier because we wanted the Olympics, I think, and it hasn't worn off yet. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying it! I also think Rahm will have to maintain the shine for a little while, at least, or risk looking like a bad mayor). Also we're located on a pretty lake, we've run the midwest out of trees (and parks out of names--we've been numbering them lately), and we finally found a solution to the "no street vendors" issue*.

Aside from my hipster worries about people coming and upsetting the delicate balance of "not terrible" the city has achieved in a the last couple of years... it's kind of right. Since about 2008 we've gone from an odd grey little city with a mob history that suddenly found itself politically relevant to one that suddenly had free concerts nearly every night of the week**, that was courting designers and start-ups, that suddenly has movies and tv shows filmed in it, that was home to recent juggernaut Groupon***... etc etc.****

* Okay, this is seriously the most amusing thing in Chicago right now. We are currently plagued by cupcake trucks. Sometime around August or so, last summer, the city officially approved the sale of "prepackaged" food from trucks on the streets (still no food prep on the go). There'd been one food truck already in the city, that managed to get itself licensed as a restaurant due to a bit of a fluke (really, the best sort), but other than a few illicit outfits that was it for street food in Chicago (and said food truck, All Fired Up, pretty much hit bars after midnight). Now, however, I cannot leave work for lunch without tripping over lines for Flirty Cupcakes or Sprinkles or any number of other recent additions to the cupcake van business. There's also a truck that sells nothing but macaroni and cheese, and one that sells nothing but meatballs. I mean, I know of people that are stunned that we manage to sustain a business that serves nothing but popcorn, but this is a whole new level of food single-mindedness. (And I love it. A part of me wants very, very badly to open a food truck. And, now that I've heard that Kitchen Chicago is how some people do it... I'm very tempted (now that we're equal with NYC) to get up early, make a giant batch of bagels, find someone to make some artisanal cream cheese, package them together, and then sell them off the back of my bike. I mean, really, what is a city without a bagel vendor in the morning? And I'd probably get points for being crazy. (And if I do this soon, people are more likely to notice, since there's only the plague of cupcake vans and a handful of actual food vans in the city right now. This summer, I imagine, will be a different story.) Oh! And one other perk to the food van thing! It's also been picked up by farmers. This morning, I stopped by C & D Farms' van to get some bacon and fresh eggs. It was parked not more than three blocks up the street from me. On one hand: I'm pretty sure you don't get much more ridiculous yuppie-hipster-locavore than that and everyone within 50 yards is probably shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. On the other: The inevitable two dollar surcharge for letting animals roam free goes directly to someone who knows the animals personally (and, also, who remembers her customers and teases me for being able to balance my bike while using both hands to load eggs and bacon into my already-overfull bag. There's something quite nice about that. It reminds me of the farmstands at home, even if it is on four wheels and was driven over from Indiana).******

** Number one reason I am looking forward to it being warm again. There have been rumblings that New Music Mondays and the other free concerts at Millennium Park might be ending this year, and if they do... I am going to be so sad. I'm sure it's not cheap for the city, but it really makes every single thing about the city at least 70% more tolerable. Even if things like the She & Him show last year sometimes make it entirely impossible to find a place to lock your bike up in the loop.

*** Still haven't hired me and are doubtlessly luring more helpless writers into the city, further saturating the market for strange jokes, puns, and general surreal copy. Why must you ruin everything, Groupon?!

**** There's actually a part of me that wonders if I've just figured out how to use the city properly, but that article does seem to present some evidence that it's not just me, and the city was suckier when I first came here back in 2003... I worry when I see articles like this, though, because I'm used to reading them after the fun part is over, and it makes me feel like Chicago is already done being "hip" and by summer we'll be overrun by people who also want to be "hip" (who will then encounter next winter and go home, provided they're not from NYC or something, since at least we're better at dealing with snow). Plus there are still things like this and I mean... Minneapolis, Madison, Cleveland (Heights), but no theatre in Chicago can bother? Psh.

****** Yes, actually, all I really wanted to write about were the food trucks, but I kind of got distracted.

It's after 8, I just got home, I'm tired... but sometimes very random things cheer me up. For example, the last 24 hours of tweets from @MayorEmanuel. It's a touching, surreal story of a vulgar man getting in touch with the city he's trying to win over. (It's a story about hide-and-seek, fermented baby food, a tower of dibs chairs, and the disembodied heart of Studs Turkel.)

Really, it's a good thing most of the other candidates have been kind of unconvincing because the Cult of Rahm produces some very entertaining stuff, and I hope to see it continue. And the best part is that Rahm actually sort of endorses it (and I mean, what else do you do with a reputation like his?) In fact, he offered to donate to the writer's charity of choice if they revealed themselves (most people think it's someone within his campaign, though, so he might just be looking to show them some stabs for making people think he hangs out with a duck).

Definitely the most entertaining local election I've ever been witness to, though. Did I mention one of our candidates calling someone a crackhead? Oh Illinois politics. I ♥ you so.

I don't have the attention span for anything substantive tonight, so instead I'm nabbing a meme from zolac_no_miko and look_alive because... well... it's kind of awesome.

I would like all my LJ friends to comment about how you got to know me. But I want you to LIE. That's right. Just make it up. If you'd like, copy this to your journal so I can do the same.

I've actually had time to be bored tonight! It's awesome! I'd forgotten what bored feels like. I've read the NYT, watched the Chicago mayoral debates (Rahm really seems to have it in for limousines and private jets. Also no cursing. I am disappoint!), tried to catch up on the world... and then I puttered around Reddit for a bit and came across a question I would like to pose to all of you, because 1) bored! and 2) for some reason these kind of questions have been popping up all the time lately and I've realized that I never ask people nonsense secretly-about-life-philosophy questions.

Which (one) of these magical items would you choose, and why? (Assuming a no-trick-genie rule here, because I don't want to think about being crushed under a metric ton of moose jerky.)

1. A pot that can produce 1,000 kilograms of any food a day.
2. A bracelet that keeps weather perfect wherever you go and within a 250 kilometre radius.
3. A necklace that allows you to touch books and instantly absorb knowledge from them, without reading.
4. An unlimited bottle of perfume that will make you wildly attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re gay), which cannot be used on anyone you love.
5. A watch that allows you to reverse time by a minute or less per day.
6. A bell that when rang fixes any one object at a time, excluding living things, within a minute.
7. A chocolate bar, with twelve pieces, that makes anyone who eats a single piece invincible and youthful until the age of 160.
8. A no fuel required, maintenance free, eight person van that can take you anywhere on the planet within one second.
9. A remote control that allows you and another person to change, superficially, into anyone you want; the effect lasts until you decide to revert.
10. An immortal dog that poops out one gold coin every time it goes to the bathroom.

( As for my answer... )

So, as most of you are probably aware, apple_pathways and I have an ongoing musical battle going on, in which we challenge each other to come up with playlists for random things. She tripped me up pretty badly by asking for my favorite holiday songs, and I (apparently) caused just as much trouble with the current challenge: New Year's resolutions, the musical! At least three songs you yourself would be willing to sing in response to "What is your resolution this year?

( A Prologue, Three Resolutions, and an Epilogue )