after one long season of waiting

It's after 8, I just got home, I'm tired... but sometimes very random things cheer me up. For example, the last 24 hours of tweets from @MayorEmanuel. It's a touching, surreal story of a vulgar man getting in touch with the city he's trying to win over. (It's a story about hide-and-seek, fermented baby food, a tower of dibs chairs, and the disembodied heart of Studs Turkel.)

Really, it's a good thing most of the other candidates have been kind of unconvincing because the Cult of Rahm produces some very entertaining stuff, and I hope to see it continue. And the best part is that Rahm actually sort of endorses it (and I mean, what else do you do with a reputation like his?) In fact, he offered to donate to the writer's charity of choice if they revealed themselves (most people think it's someone within his campaign, though, so he might just be looking to show them some stabs for making people think he hangs out with a duck).

Definitely the most entertaining local election I've ever been witness to, though. Did I mention one of our candidates calling someone a crackhead? Oh Illinois politics. I ♥ you so.

So guys, the British elections. I don't know if any of you are odd and/or bored enough to have watched the returns come in, but I was. And it turned out to be a pretty great use of my Friday night. I don't know much of anything about British politics, and I think all I knew about this election was 1) it happened to be going on and 2) apparently the Doctor, in at least two of his incarnations, supports Labour.

Important part being, I had no idea that all the candidates have to stand up on a little stage in front of their constituency while the vote count is read out. I'm used to there being crazy candidates on ballots, but I never get to put faces with the names and the parties. Then the coverage switched to Gordon Brown's victory speech (most relevant at about the 1-minute mark), where in the background you can see one of the Elite Beat Agents (actually from the "Land is Power" party) and an actual Scottish Highlander (kilt and tie. I didn't think that combination ever existed). And behind David Cameron was a fine gentleman from the Monster Raving Loony Party, among others whose pictures I can't find (one of whom appeared to be dressed like Jesus, and was holding a sign). And I got to thinking, man, how much more interesting would our elections be if we could do this? Sure, it'd take a while for us to cement a proper tradition of electoral irreverence (and I don't think we'd ever involve Marmite in things), but elections would be much more entertaining, in a properly surreal way, rather than the horrific reality TV way. I'm generally jealous of people with parliamentary governments because they seem to erupt into fisticuffs and/or japery far more often, but this is just unfair. Darn our whole "Being America Is Serious Business"...ness.

And then one of my friends linked this bit by Nick Clegg today, about his literary hero. Taking the whole electoral surreality thing to another level, his hero? Samuel Beckett. He says, and I quote: "The unsettling idea, most explicit in Godot, that life is habit – that it is all just a series of motions devoid of meaning – never gets any easier. [...] If the traditions and meanings we hold so dear turn out to be false, what do we do then?" Could a politician, much less a leader of a party (pretending we had an even remotely viable third-party option), ever say this here? Ever? I mean... One: Pretentious French literature? Two: A reasonably thoughtful interpretation of pretentious literature? Three: Existentialism right before an election! I could just see the news reports here. "Elitist MP reads French and has existential crisis, says traditions are false. Is he fit to govern?! More at eleven, but first: here is a cat eating spaghetti."

Brb, guys, moving to the UK.

I forgot how excruciating it is to write an essay. I think I just knocked my solitaire win percentage down by about 25%. And now I'm all frustrated because I'm hinging too much on this thing.

In other news, this article about ingrained grammar nonsense and the inaugural oath flub is the first thing in a while that's properly tickled the grammar geek in me. I wish I could point to that for every time I've had to explain to someone that I don't particularly care for the Chicago Manual of Style (though it still wouldn't help me get copy editor positions). Also, it's really cool that someone would even think to trace that to legal style manuals, rather than writing it off as nerves or a bad memory. I love complex, reasoned excuses for things (especially when they're full of pretentious, underhanded snark, like that article is).

Now I'm off to unilaterally amend me some constitutions. And by that I mean get away from my computer and go grocery shopping.

Actually, let's make today I Read the New York Times to You Day! WTF IS THIS?! You... you... “I never agreed with the idea of the fairly stuffy Edwardian-type gentleman,” Mr. Wigram said. “It wasn’t my idea of Sherlock Holmes.” THAT ISN'T HOW IT WORKS. Freaking crap. ... I know I'd still go see the movie, but... umm... Wryyyyyyyyyyyy? The sheer whatthecrap of any sort of "Batman Begins-esque" Sherlock Holmes is just... I mean, look, I can read about Sherlock Holmes and Cthulhu. I can read about Sherlock Holmes in which he is an amnesiac who ends up possessed by some kind of strange ancient malevolent ghost and is, in a way, basically a clone of my homunculus!Hughes. But Action Hero Sherlock Holmes? That... will require a very healthy suspension of disbelief. Especially when someone finds it necessary to imply that... oh gosh I can't even describe this properly. When someone finds it necessary to imply that they didn't have the technology to describe action scenes in books when Doyle was writing them. Seriously! (“So many of the ideas that Conan Doyle had took place offstage in his books,” Ms. Downey said. “We have the technology, the budget and the means to carry them out.”) I know I'm protective of my literary heroes (I also bristled when they mentioned Jude Law was reading a book about Hamlet), but this is seriously whatthecrap, right? I mean, I totally agree that pop culture has got Sherlock Holmes largely wrong (in fact, the best Sherlock Holmes is probably House. So obviously other writers have got the archetype down.), but that doesn't mean he has to be an action hero. Though it is Robert Downey Jr., so maybe I can pretend it's an Iron Man sequel.

All this and he doesn't do cocaine anymore, either.

What the crap.

It's going to take me days to get over this. I mean, my goodness guys, we are SO LUCKY that screenwriters have the WORDS these days... these MODERN, MODERN WORDS with which to PORTRAY ACTION SCENES. Dear goodness. I hope that book about Hamlet mentions how he would have also been an action hero, if only Shakespeare, in his infinite cunning, had had the technology to think up words for ACTION HEROING.

So, this is my boilerplate attempt at writing down my thoughts on the election. They're important mostly to me because I feel like, living and working around the people I do, I have to justify everything, and this is a way to get my thoughts in order for arguing with them, and also to rant a bit about what isn't clicking for me in their arguments. And writing is my way of sorting out what's going on around me...

( On voting cynicism )

( On nonpartisan philosophy )

( On affirming my worldview )

( On the 'liberal' media )

( On Hyde Park/Kenwood as a tourist attraction )

This post will be subject to many edits, because I'm still thinking a lot, but this is a start.

Lately, as this political season is finally coming to its end and the rancor among my coworkers becomes evermore biting and sarcastic, I've been finding myself more and more tempted to break with my "Silent Bob" approach to the workplace. This is, in part, because I've found myself tagged as a sort of one-dimensional character who somehow represents the whole of liberal thinking. No doubt my silent resolve to grit my teeth and get through the day with as little drama as possible is seen as some kind of carebear "Love everyone, even those who take advantage of your work ethic" mentality. I managed to stop myself from dressing up on Halloween as "Me, as you imagine me" with hippie pigtails, birkenstocks (I've been meaning to get a pair anyway), and a petition to rename Michigan Ave "Barack Obama", explaining that 1) I wouldn't ask them otherwise, but my signatures were due on November 1 so we could rename it before inauguration, 2) I was working for ACORN and would be paid by the signature, and 3) "And isn't it cool that we're just going to name it 'Barack Obama'? Really, we think that the word Obama will come to mean a path toward hope and the future, so it doesn't even need to be a street or avenue. It can just be an Obama." Thankfully I realized that the glee I would derive from them believing me, though wonderful, would quickly be followed by despair at them believing me. And then one of them would probably get me fired.

So now I'm sitting here with a bag of arugula in my fridge, and thinking "Wouldn't it be a great idea to bring it in to work on Tuesday and offer some to everyone?" I'd already planned it as my victory arugula, but I keep thinking that I need to get that jab in against them, just to prove that I've been listening to their nonsense and am perfectly prepared to counter with some of my own (and I think it's about to go bad so the sooner I use it the better). It's just... irony. Victory arugula is ironic, especially on Tuesday (I can't let myself have confidence yet, it'll jinx things). And there are approximately two people in the back office that would understand. So what do I do? Do I make the joke that gets me antagonized more as it sails over their heads? Or do I just sit quietly and continue to be the one-dimensional hippie Obama-worshiping liberal? (... I mean, truth is the only word that doesn't technically apply there is "worshiping." I think I'm just offended that they think I've put so little thought into my decision, and so my response to social adversity, as it always is, is to make fun of myself and them.)

Dear 2008 Election,

I WANT MY WEDNESDAY ARUGULA TO BE VICTORY ARUGULA!

♥
evilhippo

P.S. Even if I fail to be ironic at work, I am wearing some of the arugula in my hat when I go to the rally Tuesday night, and nothing is stopping me. Except maybe security, if they find leafy vegetables suspicious.

Let this first line stand as a warning that this entry is going to be rambling and probably very pretentious.

I mean, okay, I don't even know where to start. I got most of my massive brain farts out of the way in a massive e-mail to one of my friends (we have a habit of exchanging pages-long e-mails every few days). But... I mean... holy crap, guys. Even looking forward from a week ago holy crap. What are we living through? What is going on? Maybe I'm feeling this more acutely because my job ties me so closely into this, but, um... wow. I knew we were in a mess. I'd felt the rumblings of it (or what I assumed were the rumblings) more than a year ago when I started searching for a job. But that may have just been Chicago being its dumb self.

I guess, to step back... the massive world financial system, built on shouting, pieces of paper, and misplaced trust, is crumbling around us and taking everything down with it, digging long claw marks into the drywall. We're swinging strongly towards electing our first black president,a man some people still believe is a Muslim (like that's a bad thing, anyway). Our government is turning "socialist" and possibly buying ownership shares in our banks. And small-town people are shouting "terrorist!" about things people did forty years ago and threatening death for those who don't share their ideals because some of them think gay marriage and not overturning Roe vs Wade will destroy their way of life (somehow moreso than unregulated financial systems and corruption). Our current president is a complete lame duck that can't get his own party to vote with him. His party's successor candidate doesn't agree with them at all, yet lets the party run his campaign into the ground. His running mate is a power-hungry/power-abusing wolf-shooting Alaskan, whose fans are working to reclaim the phrase "Caribou Barbie" from her detractors. The underdog in this election is a freaking old white man career Senator from Delaware. It's mind-boggling. It's unimaginable, looking through the lens of the Bush era. And yet here we are. And where the heck are we going? And what will it mean for the optimism of so many if Obama is unable to make a dent against this wall?

Maybe I'm just seeing this as a sudden change because I've started reading the New York Times regularly (curse you, liberal media!). The world stock markets kind of imply something different, though. Suddenly masks are falling off everywhere, and we're staring at a world that's pretty scary, but a world we might be able to start pushing in the right direction, now that we've got a better look at it.

And, oddly enough, there's something kind of comforting in seeing the kind of chaos I've been encountering in my directionless post-college wanderings reflected in the world at large. Something is going to change. Something has to change, and something is changing. (I'll say I'm not really big on another Great Depression, least of all because then we'd have to rename the first one and all, just like we did with the Great War.) It makes me more comfortable with pursuing the sort of change I plan on pursuing. Getting out of the country seems less like a safe bet, since everyone is in this mess together now, so I feel less like I'm selling out by fleeing, and more like I'm going off to see other things (which is what I'm doing... unless we elect McCain. Then I'm just plain fleeing, but without selling out.) And teaching, at least for a while, seems more like something that can be done with noble purposes in mind, because now is a time for noble purposes. It wouldn't just be about passing the time until I figure out my purpose. (At this point, I'm starting to think my purpose is more to do as much as possible, and amass as much experience as possible, and become some sort of maverick jill of all trades... which really isn't going to make me more employable, but at least I'll be more interesting.)