evilhippo: hippo (23 [cautious])
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Yar

( Feb. 9th, 2006 07:09 pm)
Dear Japanese,

Kindly make it so I can understand you.

<3
-evilhippo


FMA 56, hee! (And now I delete it from this computer before my roomie stumbles across the fanservice and doesn't go any farther, labelling me as... even weirder than she thinks I am. Especially after the myriad fits I've thrown today.) But yay anyway! I can't wait for it to make sense! (Because... ahh... things happened that I cannot understand, and we're about to go off on what will probably be the second half of things, and I want to know whyyyy.) Thank you, FMA, for cheering me up a bit today. Because holy crap otherwise, world... I said finals week. Not day-before-suicide-prevention day. Way to ruin my weekend (that was already icky because, no matter how I'm feeling, I've got two papers and a load of research that needs to be done by Wednesday of next week). But at least I've kept my emo mostly to myself. I don't know why I think that's noble, but it sort of is. Nya.

(Oh, and should you venture into the comments, there will doubtless be spoilers for chapter 56. You've been warned.)
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evilhippo: hippo (4 [stfu])
( Nov. 4th, 2005 07:48 am)
Dear Body,

Thank you! Thank you, thank you. I don't know how you do it, but every time I foolishly lay down at five in the morning for a teeny, tiny nap, you manage to wake me up again before it's too late to finish what I was working on. Don't ever stop doing that. I don't know how you manage it, but I love you for it.

<3,
me

P.S. I'm sorry for keeping you up all night. I hope you understand. I'll let you attack French later, I think, because I'm almost certain most of that assignment was never covered in class. Yup. Bit of a problem there, non? I promise I'll feed you before I leave for class to make up for it. Really! You'll get breakfast! Isn't that a nice treat?
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Dear University of Chicago,

Now... I really have nothing against thought and discussion. But my friends, sometimes you take things too far. I have for you two examples that I would like you to consider. One is on a small scale, though I think it reflects the same lack of, oh, a sense of humour. Nor is it as all-out controversial. But, hey, what can you do. You need two arguments to prove a point, non?

First we'll start with the über-controversial and... non-sensical. Here is your required reading. The short of it is that, somewhere in Max P., a party was thrown. A "Ghetto-themed" party. What they meant by this is not something I will speculate on, since the Maroon is a secondary source, and an unreliable one at that. I'll take it as granted, however, that this was a small party. Now, by the comments the host may have made to the people who showed up, I can guess that there was some latent racism in existence here. Though, really, on the part of one person. Who offended a bunch of people who were, in the true UofC sense of things, probably looking for an argument anyway. We do that here. If I had a penny for every argument I'd seen unnecessarily picked here, I might be able to pay for this education. I think part of the problem here is that we live in a very segregated neighbourhood. This leads to an involuntary sort of racism no matter what, and as an intellectual community we're hyper-sensitive to this, if not a bit paranoid. But I fail to see the point in flipping out over it. And that is exactly what we've done. We've taken a party with fewer than 20 people, one that wasn't making any noise, and a dispute some people in the house had with the people who threw it, and blown it entirely out of proportion. Because today I received a long-winded letter from the president of the university (along with every other student) informing us of the "issues at stake" and the "climate for minority students, faculty, and staff." There wasn't even noise coming from this party, according to the RHs! Okay, UofC. Let's face it. Some people -- educated or not, attending your university or not -- are racist. Are idiots. Have no social skills, no tact, whatever. I fail to see how we need "an all-University open conversation on this topic." Because even if we need to keep in mind, on the whole, our roles in a community, there are some people who are going to throw stupid theme parties with their friends, whether they intend to offend and cause a big mess or not. It happens.

So. Point one of things being blown out of proportion and taken far too seriously. Next we get to look at the purely academic. Today I took a midterm in Civ. It was, by far, the strangest midterm I have ever taken. Not because it was multiple choice. Not because it was unusually hard. Not because I probably didn't know a third of the material as well as I should have. But because a quarter of the test had questions like "Which of the following best describes Billie Holiday's voice?" and "Who was referred to as 'Pres'?" I laughed at it. Apparently (though, I suppose, unsurprisingly), many people did not. Really, I would have been more surprised by the insanity of this midterm had the professor not given us several big speeches about how we shouldn't worry about getting everything right. Oh, and if I hadn't noticed that he had a freaking sense of humour. The e-mail I just received, though, just makes me scratch my head at people.

To: Students in Science, Culture, and Society

There is a saying in theater that irony closes on Saturday night. I think some of you may have an underdeveloped sense, well, if not of irony, of something just this side of Dadaism. The last several questions on the exam were to measure your cultural development, though that development will not be reflected in your final score.


I, for one, officially love this guy. And I am saddened that the last twelve questions of the test won't be graded, because I had a lot of fun jusifying my answers on the back of the answer sheet. And I was failing the rest of the freaking midterm, you'd think if I could have a sense of humour about it other people could suck it up and maybe not complain about it? Seriously, like he would take a grade on those. What the heck? And the thing's graded on a curve, anyway. How many of you must have e-mailed him over this for there to be an e-mail to the entire class about the questions? How could you take it that seriously??

Sigh. I give up on you people, UofC. Loosen up. Get a sense of humour sometimes. And if you're going to pick arguments, for goodness sake don't drag the entire university in on them. Don't pirate people's webshots for your revenge because people are (GASP!) wearing sideways baseball caps! (Because I've never seen white kids doing that normally... no). And let your professor have some fun, it's rare enough that they're not curmudgeony as it is. Holy. freaking. goodness.

Frustrated,
evilhippo

P.S. Any UofC people, friended or randomly wandering by, are more than welcome to pick an argument with me. Or comment. Because this worries me.
Dear Greek "Natural Scientists,"

It was a pleasure meeting you yesterday in my large book on Greek Philosophy (which would be more impressive if it didn't inexplicably contain a complete translation of the Republic. I think I now own at least three versions of that). However, I feel that, given my present circumstances, our partnership is currently infeasible. Perhaps you've considered writing something that makes sense? It looks to me as if you've simply taken a lot of words (particularly forms of the verb "to be"; I'm looking at you, Parmenides) that sound vaguely pretty and all sorts of important and thrown them together. This would be perfectly fine, and even amusing or perhaps enlightening, if I didn't have to come up with a two-page response paper to your insanity in the next hour and a half.

Night-shining foreign light wandering round earth,
- evilhippo

P.S. If I am correct, I have signed this "Moon, - evilhippo", and you know what? Serves you right.
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evilhippo: hippo (3 [grr])
( Oct. 3rd, 2005 10:02 pm)
Dear People Who Wrote in the 1800s and Before,

Okay... you know that little thing you have going on with the letter s? Or, not-s, as the case may be. When I've got to read 50 or more pages of it it is not endearing anymore. Stop it. I can see that your crazy old printing press had the letter s because it's there when there's a double s.

Gofhdarnit, Erafmuf Darwin, why didn't you have a typewriter and modern Englifh fpelling?

Finferely,
evilhippopotamuf
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evilhippo: hippo (3 [grr])
( Sep. 23rd, 2005 10:38 am)
To the Person Who Moved Back This Morning And Freaking Plugged Their Router In Wrong Or Something,

Freaking hate you. Way to break the network and not notice. When I suddenly can't connect to the network, I get really paranoid about having been kicked off for some reason. (Despite the fact that last year someone handed me a cam version of Million Dollar Baby like, the day after it came out and said we should watch it for movie night like there was nothing unusual about it. The quality was horrible. I said no. If they didn't get caught, I hope my grey-area downloading doesn't somehow get me). But that's no reason to make me think that it might've! I was mentally going through what was licensed, and wondering if anything I'd done might have somehow showed up as a misuse of bandwidth. Bad computer-moron! Bad! You freaking nerdtard. Darn your rogue router! And I know people are going to come to me today wondering why the network's down... Grrr, network.

Grrr!
- evilhippo, who is currently on the wireless. In her bed. Because main-hallway rooms rock waymuch harder than end-of-the-dark-hallway-of-doom rooms.
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Dear Jin,

Why the heck are you wearing Citan's outfit? Why?? No, like seriously, Jin. Why? Because I am a fangirl, and you know what? That's probably enough (along with all the other random pretty in the trailer) to make me attempt to play it. (Actually, I was planning on it all along. I was sort of liking XSII before my sister tore me away from it. Though I guess it did eventually go a little nuts... I recall my sister saying she was fighting a church). I should just be happy you're not in a freaking skirt anymore. What were you thinking?? There was no way I could take you seriously when I could see your leg like that... (that and you kept patting yourself on the back or something, what the heck?)

I think it's probably clear that I should just play Xenogears again. That way I get my Citan and my coherently incoherent plot.

Love,
evilhippo

P.S. Monolith, stop with the character redesigns plzkthnx. Ziggy's looked the same through the entire series, he's going to feel left out. I'm all for making Shion not suck, but... making her bare her stomach like that isn't going to help.

And all this because I accidentally clicked the wrong link in my favourites list... I hadn't checked up on Xenosaga in... probably a year. And crap. They say the third one's the last. Also, why the heck am I up right now? I went to bed at two! Why did I roll out of bed before 8?
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evilhippo: hippo (5 [hehehe])
( Sep. 11th, 2005 02:34 pm)
I have arrived safely in Chicago! It was actually a pleasant trip. There was a grumpy girl next to me who managed to complain about the flight... which was probably the nicest I've had. Of course, I've only flown four times now. So I suppose I can't really judge. But she was upset because we didn't get into the gate on time... because we landed two minutes early. Yay. Go, crabby people, go. Your anger makes so much sense to me... But... oddly enough, this grumpy woman on the plane who was at most a half-second annoyance was the worst I've dealt with all day. I dunno... maybe Chicago's mellowed over the summer or something. I got off the plane... got a little bit lost because they moved United's baggage claim on me and dumped me into a terminal I'd never been in before (apparently I only know 1/4 of O'Hare tolerably well). So... after getting my luggage sent me outside through construction, I walked down to the subway, bought my CTA card without incident, and missed the first blue line train by a few seconds. No big deal, though... I wasn't in any hurry. Of course, there were some frazzled-looking businessmen who asked me which one I thought was leaving next. So I pointed to the one that'd been there longest, since that's how they work the trains up there. I don't think they believed me until the doors opened about five minutes later, though. Oh, and there were all sorts of Homeland Security warnings flashing up on the signs and stuff. Sort of strange. And we have these... weird... electronic advtertisement things... on the walls of the underground part of the subway. Ever so very weird. Oh, and right now... the rest of this calls for a letter.

Dearest Three People Who Helped Me Today,

Not only did you, out of the kindness of your hearts, prevent me from crashing to my doom under my luggage (I'm not as adept at dragging it as I was last year... I'm three months out of practice), you also didn't run off with it. Colombian guy who didn't speak a word of English but even said hi to me when you first got on: You are awesome, and I apologize for thanking you in English, but it took me forever to remember "gracias" and I'm not even sure if it's the same in Colombia or not (probably is). You and your friends were allowed to speak loudly in your native language because you were amusing about it and you were clearly at a Kodak convention. Intéressant. Hehe. Business dude who saved me from toppling to my doom - you didn't have to do that, and you did inadvertantly cause my sandal to fall off onto some poor unsuspecting girl and, in the end, also knocked my luggage over... but I guess that's better than me falling down the stairs and crushing random people, so yay! Also, you didn't run off with my luggage, and you were very nice, despite the fact that I was all flustered and tired. Yay! And... random dude on the street who helped me on the bus... I am so sorry I avoided eye contact with you at first because I was afraid you were a panhandler. Heck, you may have actually been a panhandler! But you helped me get my suitcase on the bus, and that makes you awesome.

Love, Love, Love,
Evilhippo

P.S. And you, guy who owns the snack store down the street... that was adorable. I don't think anyone's ever actually asked me for my number before. I'm terrified of people calling me, though. I hope you weren't offended. But you totally made my day even better.
Dear People of the Telemarketing and Phone-Related World,

STOP CALLING MY HOUSE AT NINE FREAKING A.M. I had to wake up, roll out of bed, and dash into the living room to answer the phone so my dad didn't get annoyed. And now I'm awake, despite the fact that I would really like to spend another hour in bed. Oh, and I'm cold. Not cool! Remember when you called my dorm every day at 8 o'clock sharp, right after my roomie left for class, and wouldn't even hang up if I didn't answer the phone? That was also a very good example of Not Cool. I even finally lost my temper and yelled at you over that. You're going to make me explode.

Siiiigh,
me

Oh, and at best it will be another nine hours before I can see the FMA movie, even if it does finish downloading. Darn the internets! Oh, what to do. I guess I'll scan the incredibly dorky things I did last night, even though I won't be needing them for about a week. Weee.

Editness: (Because I don't have anything to do but wait to go to work in the next fifteen minutes). My summer is almost over. Gah! (All right, I'm trying to waste time before work by tacking more onto this entry now, like, an hour after I wrote it). So, letsee... what have I done. I still can't speak or read Japanese. And I definitely can't draw, though maybe I've improved slightly. I finished a lot of books early in the summer, and then the library decided to let me down and lose most of the other ones I wanted. I've discovered a weird amusement with figuring out what the handwritings of different fictional characters would be like. Now that it's September and all the deadlines for having writing samples are in, I suddenly find myself underneath a veritable flood of plot ideas (gee thanks, brain. I love you too). And I still don't have a major. Wee.

P.S. I <3 Neil Gaiman. And I'm really leaving now, because otherwise I'm going to be late. And at 8 I might actually get to sneak over to [livejournal.com profile] sketchyheart's and watch the movie, yaaaay!!
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Dear UofC,

All right. Seriously... I turned in my Critical Perspectives paper a week, three days, and many hours ago. So many hours that in about nine more, it'll be four days. I have a simple question for you. Why is my grade not up yet? I'm not overly concerned about it. I can't imagine it being lower than a B (well, I can. But I hope the reasons aren't very logical). But I'd like to be able to not have to stay up until one trying to find out if it's up yet. This is just insane. Grades were supposed to be in Friday, weren't they? Surely it doesn't take a week to grade all of those papers? And if it does, they shouldn't have been due at 11 on Friday. I figured I'd served my extra time by being run over by graduation ceremonies and being rushed to get ready to go downtown! (It took so much self control not to laugh out loud at some of those robes. I mean... hehehehe. Oh dear. But you can't laugh at them outright at their graduation, you know!) Oh, and all that packing. Gee thanks for kicking us out at three the day after finals are over. Because you know you fiendishly schedule finals up until the last moments possible on Friday. Go you.

I'll thank you for putting up the grades for the classes I was worried about. However, just moving the spot for the empty grade around is not funny. Just because you moved ENGL 10100 from the bottom to the middle to the top each time does not fix the fact that my grade still isn't posted. Still isn't posted. You don't want me to angst at you, do you? You don't want me to write bad goth poetry, do you? Because I just might, if you don't post my grade soon. There are tiny threads still tying me to this heinous crime of a spring quarter, and I'd like them to be severed as soon as possible, thank you very much.

Witholding my Love until My Grades Are Posted,
an angry evil hippo
evilhippo: hippo (4 [stfu])
( Apr. 18th, 2005 06:05 pm)
Cher de Tocqueville,

Bon soir. J'éspere que vous etes bon aujourd'hui. Je sais que vous etes mort, t'sais, mais, sans compter que cela... Je m'écarte.

Nous sommes finis. Totallement finis. Je ne vous aime pas. Je ne vous aime jamais. Et, maintenant, j'ai fini ton livre, je n'ai pas besoin de vous. Je ne l'ai pas compris. Vous avez trop d'idées que vous n'avez pas expliqué. Vous (et pardonnez mon francais) sucez le lac Michigan.

Au Revoir!
moi

(Yes, it's been more than a year since I've written anything in French. I still suck. But at least I don't suck Lake Michigan like certain authors. And yes, I'm blaming Tocqueville for my bad paper and not the fact that I put it off and was very distracted. Hehehe).
evilhippo: hippo (7 [wtf])
( Apr. 4th, 2005 10:50 pm)
Dear Internet,

You are really not being interesting at all today. It's really not helping me get any reading done, because I feel compelled to see if anything interesting has happened between chapters. If you'd just come up with something interesting my distraction would be satisfied and I could go back to reading more quickly. But no... no, you've got to taunt me with your void. You can expect a letter of complaint to your direct superiors if this behaviour continues, and I will not hesitate to get you fired.

Much Love,
me
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evilhippo: hippo (8 [misc])
( Jan. 31st, 2005 06:31 pm)

Dear Physics,

Hi, Physics. It's been a little while since I talked to you last, and I sort of regret I didn't take this issue up with you before. But now it's come to the point where I just can't remain silent on the matter. Please, Physics, there are twenty six letters in the alphabet. There is no earthly excuse for you to have three different meanings for V and two for E, and countless other things. Just because you make one of them italic does not make a difference. I'm starting to think that you just like to make things more confusing than they have to be. You might have an excuse if electric potential had anything at all to do with the letter V, but it doesn't. Why couldn't you have chosen a different letter, then? I think you're just being mean.

Thanks,
- Me

P.S. I hope you catch on fire.
.

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