GAH! I GIVE UP!

[evilhippo]

Dear Physics,

Hi, Physics. It's been a little while since I talked to you last, and I sort of regret I didn't take this issue up with you before. But now it's come to the point where I just can't remain silent on the matter. Please, Physics, there are twenty six letters in the alphabet. There is no earthly excuse for you to have three different meanings for V and two for E, and countless other things. Just because you make one of them italic does not make a difference. I'm starting to think that you just like to make things more confusing than they have to be. You might have an excuse if electric potential had anything at all to do with the letter V, but it doesn't. Why couldn't you have chosen a different letter, then? I think you're just being mean.

Thanks,
- Me

P.S. I hope you catch on fire.

Comments

[chocolatemoose.livejournal.com]

Dear Carrie,

Do you honestly think that it's easy, running the universe? Hmmm? Do you think that I enjoy it when you guys decide to accelerate particles to near light speed, just for yuks? It's a lot of work, keeping everything in order, I'll have you know. I can't even go for lunch! You know what happened last time I went to lunch? Yeah, singularities, that's right. You think black holes are natural? Pah. You're just lucky that I didn't decide to call in sick that day. And heavenforbid (pardon the expression) I miss one teeny tiny little detail... everyone goes attributing things to "God" and "miracles" and "aliens" and stupid new age crystal crap. It really hurts me when you make fun of my slip ups, you know, rare as they are.

I'm terribly sorry that you're having such issues with me. You see, I didn't want "electric potential" to have the letter V at all, but Mister Volta over there decided, hey, V! That's the letter of my last name! Goodie! I would be quite if everything that needed defining had its own letter. Perhaps your issue here should be with history and/or linguistics (or do they have a fancy name for the naming of scientific terms/constants?). Anyways, I admire your tenacity and all, even if you have a number of things completely backwards. Most, rather. It's cute, though, really.

Love,
Physics

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Dear Physics,

I apologize for my rash actions in blaming you. It's been a long week, and the professor teaching you hasn't been very nice in the whole "no homework before a midterm" department. I do realize now that the problem lies, in fact, with the insane men that have researched you over the years. Via my time machine (which my future self brought back in time for me for this express purpose) I have forwarded a copy of my letter, as well as your response and an additional note on the matter to Mr. Volta expressing my concerns.

Once again, I apologize for my previous letter, and I hope you get over whatever sickness caused you to overlook my future time machine.

Love,
Me

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

P.S. I really didn't mean the whole "I hope you catch on fire thing." Can we still be friends?