Cooking

[evilhippo]

So, in my various cooking adventures so far this year, I have learned to make (from scratch) bread, cakes, cookies, fishes, squid, various and sundry improv sushi, some pretty fantastic improv oven crisps, curry, lots of various "I don't feel like cooking" things like potato/cornchip/Dorito-breaded chicken fingers, pasta caseroles, roasts, mashed potatoes, kale soup, sweet potato soup... I'm pretty good with a grill, I managed to make pretentious cornish game hens for Thanksgiving, I rock at pumpkin pie... But tonight I was defeated. Tonight... I was defeated by hamburgers.

I cannot make hamburgers.

I cannot describe the shame of being defeated by hamburgers. I am sitting here, eating what is now kind of like hamburger helper over alphabet noodles. Because I could not get hamburgers to stay hamburgers. It's not bad, but... how can I not make hamburgers?! I mean, inept/lazy bachelors whose subsistence comes almost entirely from bags and cans can make hamburgers. Where did I go wrong?

... I think maybe I'll just sit here and be proud that I've been cooking for myself for well over six months and this is the first time I've resorted to hamburgers.

Omg I can't make hamburgers what is wrong with me?!


Er... hey guys look! The president hit his head on his helicopter! I'll just be over here... reevaluating my entire culinary existence.

Comments

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

...Seriously, though, how does that qualify as news? *eyeroll*

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Curse you, missing quotation mark! I'm actually surprised that it still led to something...

I've always had a hard time not cutting burgers up while they're on the grill to check them. I think I inherited my mom's fear of undercooking ground beef. But these ones... they didn't even cohere long enough to be flipped more than once. I think maybe the beef was too lean. I'm not used to paying attention to such things. I just pick meat that looks good relative to the other choices I have available. (-;