Cooking

[evilhippo]

So, in my various cooking adventures so far this year, I have learned to make (from scratch) bread, cakes, cookies, fishes, squid, various and sundry improv sushi, some pretty fantastic improv oven crisps, curry, lots of various "I don't feel like cooking" things like potato/cornchip/Dorito-breaded chicken fingers, pasta caseroles, roasts, mashed potatoes, kale soup, sweet potato soup... I'm pretty good with a grill, I managed to make pretentious cornish game hens for Thanksgiving, I rock at pumpkin pie... But tonight I was defeated. Tonight... I was defeated by hamburgers.

I cannot make hamburgers.

I cannot describe the shame of being defeated by hamburgers. I am sitting here, eating what is now kind of like hamburger helper over alphabet noodles. Because I could not get hamburgers to stay hamburgers. It's not bad, but... how can I not make hamburgers?! I mean, inept/lazy bachelors whose subsistence comes almost entirely from bags and cans can make hamburgers. Where did I go wrong?

... I think maybe I'll just sit here and be proud that I've been cooking for myself for well over six months and this is the first time I've resorted to hamburgers.

Omg I can't make hamburgers what is wrong with me?!


Er... hey guys look! The president hit his head on his helicopter! I'll just be over here... reevaluating my entire culinary existence.

Comments

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

They were in no way burger-shaped. It ended up just being ground beef by the time I was done.

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Huh. Admittedly I've never made hamburgers because I don't like them, but Angela made them a couple times while we were in Walla Walla. I think if you make the patties thick enough and then wait until it's well-done on one side before flipping them, it should be okay?

My mom just walked by and glanced at the screen and suggested that you could put oatmeal in with the meat to glue it together a little. And that maybe your ground beef that you started with was too lean.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Oatmeal, eh? I never would've thought of that. (My mom suggested bread crumbs... I was thinking rice.)

I always get impatient when it comes to turning things, so I imagine that was probably the biggest part of my downfall here. Maybe I'll try making burgers again in another six months or so, next time I randomly have a craving for ground beef. (-;

[sketchyheart.livejournal.com]

(Yessssss. I have never made them myself, but I have seen my mom and dad make them a lot of times. They use bread crumbs and eggs, I believe. I believe..)

Silly, silly hamburgers. `w`(\

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Eggs! Yes, now I remember that part.