All right... I finally finished Deathly Hallows. It took me about a day and a half, but I've been bustling about with other things (which I'm going to avoid complaining about for a while, because I'm rather angry with the world and that's nothing new, so people don't need to hear me going on about it anymore).
(If you want to remain completely pure, avoiding even name spoilers, you probably just want to stop now, because I'm not careful. I think it's silly to avoid name spoilers, but this is your warning.)
As far as non-spoilery comments go... there were far too many laughable phrases. I'll admit that I didn't catch the slashy and perverse ones that everyone else has picked up on, but there were some amazingly bizarre names. And sometimes the bluntness of what was going on was a bit much. Also, I refuse to believe that a legendary wand could become known as the "Deathstick." That's just... (and I apologize to everyone I've pestered over IM about this already) does it give you cancer or something? Deathstick? Seriously? (Also, the lines about Hermione's voice reaching a pitch audible only by bats and Xenophilius burning underpants for dinner... she couldn't have taken this seriously.) But I'll start by saying that I enjoyed it, because that way I can get away with nitpicking and complaining about the rest of it, because I'm like that.
And so yes, though I can't prove it because I never wrote down my predictions, pretty much everything I expected to happen in the book happened. For a while, I was pretty sure Harry was going to die permanently (and I kind of hoped he would), but then I remembered that the books are still billed as "children's" books and that kind of rules out wanton main character death.
There was, however, an awful lot of wanton minor character death. And I completely disapprove. Fred did not need to die. And Lupin and Tonks did not deserve the Rosencrantz and Guidenstern treatment they got next to him. I'll admit, as soon as Lupin was a father, I knew he was a goner because he was adorable doting over Teddy. And as soon as he pulled out the picture, well... we all know what happens to doting father characters that carry pictures of their children around. Though SOME OF THEM DIE FOR THE PLOT, AND NOT FOR EMOTIONAL ABUSE OF YOUR READERS, JKR. (Also, I'd complain about the Underdeveloped Wedding of Lupin and Tonks, but I think BSG made me immune to irrational weddings.)
There were also a few points in the book that made me question how much JKR had been keeping an eye on fandom. Because in the final epic battle there were an awful lot of rocks falling, and people dying. However, the least subtle of them is probably the death of Charity Burbage. Wikipedia seems to back me up in the fact that she was only named in this book... and so I am left to wonder about this peacemaker with the virtuous name, and until someone can prove otherwise, I am going to maintain that it was a ritual, symbolic Mary Sue killing.
I'm going to keep my mouth shut on the plot and the characterization, because even though I kind of fancy myself a writer, I obviously haven't written anything that, say (for example) forced a 22-year old broke recent college graduate to go out and buy the book so she wouldn't have to worry about people on the streets spoiling her. But, now that I've started... Lupin was too flat, even though he was manic. Not enough Tonks. Not enough Luna. Ron's irrationality. Hermione's... okay, nevermind, Hermione was fine. She handled herself admirably and I can't fault her. It's just the whole OTP ending... frak. Too much oversweetened icing on the cake. Thankfully, I suppose, it was the only part of the book that really reminded me of the fanfiction feel of Half-Blood Prince.
And that brings me to Snape. Oh, Snape. I knew he was good, because it would've been too much of a cop-out for him not to be. And the subtle hints (his punishment of Ginny and them) were nice. But I wanted to see more of him. Alive. Conniving. Being cool. Even Mrs. Weasley got her badassery, and Snape gets offed over a wand. Frak that. And I kind of wish it had been more than forlorn longing and devotion that drove him to look out for Harry and work against Voldemort. I wish he had enjoyed being conniving (and maybe he did, but not bringing that in somehow was a Martha-sized characterization hole), even if "love" had been his initial motivation. And Slytherin deserved more than what it got. I'll admit I quite liked the role the Malfoys had... overwhelmed and somehow still worrying more about their family. It was wonderful. But the whole of Slytherin leaving? Being untrustworthy? That's too black and white for me. Too black and white for a book that didn't gloss over the slaughter it committed.
But, I suppose, all in all I'm mostly just ticked about Fred, Lupin, and Tonks. The twins were wonderful the entire series; it's just heartless to divide them in two. And Lupin... he was always a bit unstable, and that made him great, but... sigh. And Tonks just never, ever got enough characterization. Which is why I thought she'd be fine. If the book really had a happy ending, poor Teddy wouldn't have been orphaned.
(And I'm not going to mention how I want to write fanfic about Dumbledore and Grindelwald's summer together. It has nothing to do with the stodgy pretentious intellectual posturing they were flinging back and forth in letters. Because I don't like writing stuff like that at all. And no, I don't want to write about James and Lupin and Sirius. I'm thinking maybe my problem is that I always like the adult characters more (the development vs growth question of character progression, which my tastes keep tipped almost entirely toward development). But, okay... Snape's memory bit was probably one of the best parts. The flashbacks were all great. I figure it's probably just the way my imagination works, because people have piqued it about them more than the rest of the characters, but their history just seemed more vivid than almost the rest of the book. But that could've been because two thirds of it was a lot of nothing happening, of Harry Having Doubts and Ron and Hermione's Relationship and We Don't Know What To Do So We Do Nothing. I probably could've done without half of it. Yes, it diverged from the usual format, but I think it was clear that JKR was pretty much out of her element. Once they were back in Hogwarts it was all good (and I imagine that's the reason the final battle took place there--it's the bit JKR's written most, and where she's most comfortable... I mean, Voldemort thinking that no one else had found the room of requirement was probably the thinnest assumption ever).
As an aside... if it was up to me, the book would've ended with Harry's death, and Voldemort once again a ghostly version of himself telling one of his staunch supporters (probably Bellatrix) that he would have to lower himself to living on gathering his power from under the beds of muggle children. But that's because I'm evil. (Also, while I'm being evil, even though my icon is unimportant to the grand scheme of the plot, anyone who hasn't read the book is encouraged to believe that it's simply a snide commentary on the overwhelming commercialism of this franchise. And the fact that I was able to find stacks of the book everywhere I went, even the day the book was released. And the fact that Harry Potter is a Cylon.)
So now I leave you with a lolspeak omake that probably says more than necessary about my state of mind while reading the book.
(11:19:21 PM) Parker: You can't has deathstick
(11:19:23 PM) Parker: Not yours
(11:19:33 PM) Me: IS MINE I STOLED IT IS MINE NAO
(11:19:47 PM) Parker: No, iz not!
(11:19:53 PM) Parker: Iz only fer wizzerds
(11:20:11 PM) Me: Can has if stoled, and I stoled it. Iz mine.
(11:20:29 PM) Parker: iz you a wizzerd?
(11:20:36 PM) Me: maaaybe
(11:20:43 PM) Parker: no, u iz a theef
(11:20:54 PM) Me: iz angry wizzerd used to has deathstick, you asks him
(11:21:16 PM) Me: i iz theef and wizzerd has deathstick nao
(11:21:39 PM) Parker: no, not de theef and wizzerd wif deathstick
(11:21:43 PM) Parker: dat is bad noose
(11:21:46 PM) Me: iz me
(11:21:56 PM) Parker: but what u do wit deathstick?
(11:22:05 PM) Me: death things
(11:22:19 PM) Me: i can deaths you?
(11:22:35 PM) Parker: no, u cant deaths me
(11:22:41 PM) Me: y?
(11:22:53 PM) Me: iz deathstick I has, iz for deathing
(11:23:05 PM) Parker: but not fer deathing me
(11:23:10 PM) Me: y not?
(11:23:22 PM) Parker: cuz me liek been alives
(11:23:34 PM) Parker: deths iz no fun
(11:23:38 PM) Me: u no?
(11:24:07 PM) Parker: i dew no
(11:24:59 PM) Me: how u no wat is deaths liek?
(11:25:38 PM) Parker: cuz iz wen u haz to walk bak to corspe and yer clothes are dmged
(11:26:00 PM) Me: then u not stay deathed?
(11:26:11 PM) Me: iz not fair. deathstick iz not deathstick if death no stick
(11:27:08 PM) Parker: no, stick is for the stick, not fer the death
(11:27:15 PM) Me: o
(If you want to remain completely pure, avoiding even name spoilers, you probably just want to stop now, because I'm not careful. I think it's silly to avoid name spoilers, but this is your warning.)
As far as non-spoilery comments go... there were far too many laughable phrases. I'll admit that I didn't catch the slashy and perverse ones that everyone else has picked up on, but there were some amazingly bizarre names. And sometimes the bluntness of what was going on was a bit much. Also, I refuse to believe that a legendary wand could become known as the "Deathstick." That's just... (and I apologize to everyone I've pestered over IM about this already) does it give you cancer or something? Deathstick? Seriously? (Also, the lines about Hermione's voice reaching a pitch audible only by bats and Xenophilius burning underpants for dinner... she couldn't have taken this seriously.) But I'll start by saying that I enjoyed it, because that way I can get away with nitpicking and complaining about the rest of it, because I'm like that.
And so yes, though I can't prove it because I never wrote down my predictions, pretty much everything I expected to happen in the book happened. For a while, I was pretty sure Harry was going to die permanently (and I kind of hoped he would), but then I remembered that the books are still billed as "children's" books and that kind of rules out wanton main character death.
There was, however, an awful lot of wanton minor character death. And I completely disapprove. Fred did not need to die. And Lupin and Tonks did not deserve the Rosencrantz and Guidenstern treatment they got next to him. I'll admit, as soon as Lupin was a father, I knew he was a goner because he was adorable doting over Teddy. And as soon as he pulled out the picture, well... we all know what happens to doting father characters that carry pictures of their children around. Though SOME OF THEM DIE FOR THE PLOT, AND NOT FOR EMOTIONAL ABUSE OF YOUR READERS, JKR. (Also, I'd complain about the Underdeveloped Wedding of Lupin and Tonks, but I think BSG made me immune to irrational weddings.)
There were also a few points in the book that made me question how much JKR had been keeping an eye on fandom. Because in the final epic battle there were an awful lot of rocks falling, and people dying. However, the least subtle of them is probably the death of Charity Burbage. Wikipedia seems to back me up in the fact that she was only named in this book... and so I am left to wonder about this peacemaker with the virtuous name, and until someone can prove otherwise, I am going to maintain that it was a ritual, symbolic Mary Sue killing.
I'm going to keep my mouth shut on the plot and the characterization, because even though I kind of fancy myself a writer, I obviously haven't written anything that, say (for example) forced a 22-year old broke recent college graduate to go out and buy the book so she wouldn't have to worry about people on the streets spoiling her. But, now that I've started... Lupin was too flat, even though he was manic. Not enough Tonks. Not enough Luna. Ron's irrationality. Hermione's... okay, nevermind, Hermione was fine. She handled herself admirably and I can't fault her. It's just the whole OTP ending... frak. Too much oversweetened icing on the cake. Thankfully, I suppose, it was the only part of the book that really reminded me of the fanfiction feel of Half-Blood Prince.
And that brings me to Snape. Oh, Snape. I knew he was good, because it would've been too much of a cop-out for him not to be. And the subtle hints (his punishment of Ginny and them) were nice. But I wanted to see more of him. Alive. Conniving. Being cool. Even Mrs. Weasley got her badassery, and Snape gets offed over a wand. Frak that. And I kind of wish it had been more than forlorn longing and devotion that drove him to look out for Harry and work against Voldemort. I wish he had enjoyed being conniving (and maybe he did, but not bringing that in somehow was a Martha-sized characterization hole), even if "love" had been his initial motivation. And Slytherin deserved more than what it got. I'll admit I quite liked the role the Malfoys had... overwhelmed and somehow still worrying more about their family. It was wonderful. But the whole of Slytherin leaving? Being untrustworthy? That's too black and white for me. Too black and white for a book that didn't gloss over the slaughter it committed.
But, I suppose, all in all I'm mostly just ticked about Fred, Lupin, and Tonks. The twins were wonderful the entire series; it's just heartless to divide them in two. And Lupin... he was always a bit unstable, and that made him great, but... sigh. And Tonks just never, ever got enough characterization. Which is why I thought she'd be fine. If the book really had a happy ending, poor Teddy wouldn't have been orphaned.
(And I'm not going to mention how I want to write fanfic about Dumbledore and Grindelwald's summer together. It has nothing to do with the stodgy pretentious intellectual posturing they were flinging back and forth in letters. Because I don't like writing stuff like that at all. And no, I don't want to write about James and Lupin and Sirius. I'm thinking maybe my problem is that I always like the adult characters more (the development vs growth question of character progression, which my tastes keep tipped almost entirely toward development). But, okay... Snape's memory bit was probably one of the best parts. The flashbacks were all great. I figure it's probably just the way my imagination works, because people have piqued it about them more than the rest of the characters, but their history just seemed more vivid than almost the rest of the book. But that could've been because two thirds of it was a lot of nothing happening, of Harry Having Doubts and Ron and Hermione's Relationship and We Don't Know What To Do So We Do Nothing. I probably could've done without half of it. Yes, it diverged from the usual format, but I think it was clear that JKR was pretty much out of her element. Once they were back in Hogwarts it was all good (and I imagine that's the reason the final battle took place there--it's the bit JKR's written most, and where she's most comfortable... I mean, Voldemort thinking that no one else had found the room of requirement was probably the thinnest assumption ever).
As an aside... if it was up to me, the book would've ended with Harry's death, and Voldemort once again a ghostly version of himself telling one of his staunch supporters (probably Bellatrix) that he would have to lower himself to living on gathering his power from under the beds of muggle children. But that's because I'm evil. (Also, while I'm being evil, even though my icon is unimportant to the grand scheme of the plot, anyone who hasn't read the book is encouraged to believe that it's simply a snide commentary on the overwhelming commercialism of this franchise. And the fact that I was able to find stacks of the book everywhere I went, even the day the book was released. And the fact that Harry Potter is a Cylon.)
So now I leave you with a lolspeak omake that probably says more than necessary about my state of mind while reading the book.
(11:19:21 PM) Parker: You can't has deathstick
(11:19:23 PM) Parker: Not yours
(11:19:33 PM) Me: IS MINE I STOLED IT IS MINE NAO
(11:19:47 PM) Parker: No, iz not!
(11:19:53 PM) Parker: Iz only fer wizzerds
(11:20:11 PM) Me: Can has if stoled, and I stoled it. Iz mine.
(11:20:29 PM) Parker: iz you a wizzerd?
(11:20:36 PM) Me: maaaybe
(11:20:43 PM) Parker: no, u iz a theef
(11:20:54 PM) Me: iz angry wizzerd used to has deathstick, you asks him
(11:21:16 PM) Me: i iz theef and wizzerd has deathstick nao
(11:21:39 PM) Parker: no, not de theef and wizzerd wif deathstick
(11:21:43 PM) Parker: dat is bad noose
(11:21:46 PM) Me: iz me
(11:21:56 PM) Parker: but what u do wit deathstick?
(11:22:05 PM) Me: death things
(11:22:19 PM) Me: i can deaths you?
(11:22:35 PM) Parker: no, u cant deaths me
(11:22:41 PM) Me: y?
(11:22:53 PM) Me: iz deathstick I has, iz for deathing
(11:23:05 PM) Parker: but not fer deathing me
(11:23:10 PM) Me: y not?
(11:23:22 PM) Parker: cuz me liek been alives
(11:23:34 PM) Parker: deths iz no fun
(11:23:38 PM) Me: u no?
(11:24:07 PM) Parker: i dew no
(11:24:59 PM) Me: how u no wat is deaths liek?
(11:25:38 PM) Parker: cuz iz wen u haz to walk bak to corspe and yer clothes are dmged
(11:26:00 PM) Me: then u not stay deathed?
(11:26:11 PM) Me: iz not fair. deathstick iz not deathstick if death no stick
(11:27:08 PM) Parker: no, stick is for the stick, not fer the death
(11:27:15 PM) Me: o
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From:
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Because everybody else I know were totally like "you're insane how can you think that blah blah blah".
I dread dread dread the fics involving Dumbledore and Grindelwald, although I myself was tempted, just a little when I was reading about them, to write something. Then I remembered why I've never touched HP fandom (except under duress from Scav Hunt), and so that thought went out the window very very quickly.
Harry should've died. The end.
Fred shouldn't've. The end.
I suspect Rowling's running out of ideas (or got sick of HP) that she took some advice from fandom. Or at least didn't discourage fandom. Hrphm.
From:
no subject
This is why I haven't really touched the HP fandom. (And my lack of attachment to it has probably made me a lot less fangirly in my reactions.)