Frak, what the heck?

[evilhippo]

Once upon a time, many months ago back when the sun shone on a more regular basis and it was relatively warm out, deathscytheheck and I had an adventure in which we completely failed at finding a mythical Target and walked something like four or five blocks out of our way. Today, I was on a mission. A mission to buy myself a DS Lite. And so I searched for this Target again.

This is a visual recreation of my walk using google maps. On second thought, I should probably have color-coded the walk a bit more, to illustrate the points at which I was ready to give up hope, and the points at which I was attempting to wish my sister a happy birthday, and the points at which I wasn't sure I was still in Chicago, and thought I might have been in a suburb of Cleveland I was lost in a couple of times.



I haven't worked out exactly how far I walked, but something tells me it was at least two miles. After Damen, though, I just kept walking because I wanted to prove to myself that Target did exist and I hadn't just walked into this giant transplanted suburban parking lot alternate universe, in which I was likely to get murdered by a giant car beast or something. Really, I remember thinking, just this morning, that there wasn't a force in the world that'd make me want a car in Chicago. This walk? Through what was probably an entire mile of parking lots? Made me want a car. So, I am officially never going anywhere near that neighborhood again. I suspect it was actually one of those blank spaces on the Chicago neighborhood maps that doesn't have a name, because it's just that desolate. It's just... ew. The weirdest thing about it, though, is how I generally get there--which is walking over from Lincoln Park. Lincoln Park is one of the cleanest, yuppiest parts of the city. It's worse than River North (because River North is dirty and busy). And then you cross the river, and it's all industrial crap for a bit, then it's parking lots and midwestern ugliness at its most intense framed by train tracks. Oh, and up above Diversey? The backs of the buildings look like... like trailers or something. It somehow gave me the impression of a shantytown made of plastic siding and fire escapes.

And oh, because Chicago hates me? Guess what! I found four (FOUR!) copies of Phoenix Wright at the EB Games near Mythical Death Target. And so of course both Mythical Death Target and Hour Away South Loop Tease Target were sold out of DSes. And no one in between had them, either. So now... I have the game in my bag. And no DS to play it on! How evil is that?

Comments

[flutingfrenzy.livejournal.com]

We have like eighty billion DSs at my Target. Clearly there are flow issues at hand.

LOL@ Mythical Death Target, though. Do all the employees wear black lipstick and eye makeup and long-sleeved black shirts under their red T-shirts? Hour Away South Loop Tease Target sounds like a perky airheaded high schooler. Kind of like the average Target exec. Together, they fight crime!

On the plus side, you have Phoenix Wright! I recommend reading the manual, not for the painfully obvious gameplay instructions, but for the adorable chibis.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Maybe Chicago just has a black hole that DSes disappear into. I mean, Hour Away South Loop Tease Target had at least ten when I was waffling about buying one on Wednesday (which is why I thought they might still have at least one last night).

Actually, Mythical Death Target even had a brimstone section. It was sold out, though. ^_^

But this matters not, because I managed (after quite a bit of calling around) to find a DS at Sears today. So now it is mine. Bwahahahaha.

[rsiasta.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to think that all Targets in Chicago are infused with evil.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

This is probably true.

[rsiasta.livejournal.com]

So how is the DS working out? (Since I see you've found one now, yay.) I haven't had the chance to touch one in ages.

Also, I was directed to something earlier today that reminded me of your rant on stupid people and their houses, so I thought you would appreciate it. http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2008-02-25

[look-alive.livejournal.com]

Dude, that was NOT four or five blocks. That was a good mile at least in the wrong direction we walked. And it was EIGHT HUNDRED DEGREES.