after one long season of waiting

I'm in such a strange state lately. I... don't know. I feel like I owe people an apology, though, because everyone's having a rough time of things (it's that time of year) and my solution lately seems to just be pontificating at them. So I'm sorry. Because me writing on for paragraphs about how, in my vast and worldly experiences, life sucks a lot all the time, doesn't really help and is, in fact, really freaking obnoxious in the stuffy academic stupid way that I tend to hate. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I think it's senior-year nostalgia mixed with a continued feeling of having no idea what the eff is going on. (Do I have more than two classes yet? Nooo. Has übersnobwriterprof e-mailed me back? Nooo.) So, to pontinifcate on myself, I guess I'm just trying to sort things out. And unfortunately every time someone posts with something I feel like I've gone through, I go off on some incredibly long pseudo-philosophical and generally useless rambling thing and obviously I'm in no sort of position to say anything useful because, omg, look at what I've gotten myself into here and... you know, someone should really just kick me, because otherwise this'll keep happening and you'll all hate me lots and then I'll be sad (actually, I know right now that I'm on the verge of being really obnoxiously depressed because that stupid prof hasn't e-mailed me back and if enough people don't drop out of the photography class by tomorrow, I'll only have two classes and, of course, since I'm stupid and didn't figure out what I was majoring in until last year, I can't afford to just take random electives because I have so many requirements left for English that I need to finish. Crap, I hate first week).