Feel free to press the 'mute' button on this one

[evilhippo]

Right. You know those incredibly stupid days that are always at the start of young adult novels, where the protagonist has something important planned and it's about 7:45 in the morning and they're having this odd dream where they're a werewolf in a school full of other urban legend creatures and the janitor, who they thought was their friend, has abandoned them in the vampire hall with a tin of lip gloss that absolutely proves they're a werewolf and all the vampires hate werewolves but there's one vampire that actually happens to like that kind of lip gloss after all so they become friends. Then it's suddenly 8:15 and the protagonist wakes up and in the middle of a great big lazy Saturday stretch they realize that it is, in fact, Friday and have to take a flying leap out of their loft bed, nearly breaking their ankle in the process, and get dressed in about ten minutes flat and call their boss to apologize for running late and of course they don't give an excuse because, forgive them, they've only been up for about ten minutes and their head is still full of vampires and werewolves (and where did that come from anyway?) so they bike like mad to the bus and the bike rack on the first bus is impossibly stuck and so they have to wait for the next bus which is ten minutes later and doesn't get as close to work either, and they don't get in to the office until after nine and really this protagonist would've just called off except she was the only one in her department because someone had just quit on absolutely no notice and the other person was out on vacation and threatening so send photos of waterslides just to rub it in, and the protagonist had to be downtown anyway for the something important she had scheduled so it was really a giant cluster-eff-star-star-star (because you can't say that word in young adult books) and in reality she'd told her boss that she was going to leave at 11:30, but that had been before she found out the something important was downtown and not an hour and a half away by train, so she told her boss she'd leave at 12:30 instead to make up the time she'd missed except everyone caught wind of the fact that she was still in the office and apparently alive and therefore capable of doing whatever menial task they demanded so she didn't get out of the office until 12:50 which gave her ten minutes to run the three blocks to the something important, except she'd transposed the numbers in the street address so she was looking for a building that didn't exist and finally at 12:59 she ran into a building that had approximately a right number and it turned out to be the one. Then she attended the something important and it was marginally enlightening and she spent some time picturing herself in one of several glamorous potential professions until they completely failed to explain how she could justify spending $80,000 on an education that would, quite probably, land her a job that would pay a maximum of $40,000 a year, which kind of put a damper on that plan, at least for a little while, and then as the something important drew to a close her attention kept wandering back to work because, though she'd planned to take the entire afternoon off and stick around at the session to ask pertinent questions and hobnob, there were mountains of files at work that no one else would take care of because everyone else was vacationing or had quit and she didn't want to come in on the weekend again. So she had to sprint back to work and in the end even though her bosses had already docked her pay for taking the half-day she ended up working all but two and a half hours of the day, and one of those hours should've been her lunch anyway, which she didn't get. Also, you can tell this is a young adult book because, even though the protagonist is employed, there are vampires and werewolves all this takes place on a Friday the 13th, just to make sure you know Bad Luck is involved.

Goshdarn terrible young adult literature. (Give me my normal author back! What did you do, sack them because they made me happy for a couple of days? And seriously, where did that dream even come from?)

Comments

[solitaryjane.livejournal.com]

holy s-star-star-star today's the thirteenth!

so uneventful - for me. well, at least you made it out in one piece.

oh vampire and werewolves? that's twilight trying to call out to you to read it. I mean it already lost me because I can't muster the resolve to keep reading new moon and opted to read the bell jar instead.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Ah-ha, I knew that was your fault! I was going to blame it on some of it leaking out of your brain subconsciously at some point, but now I see it must be reaching out looking for a new host. Hopefully Middlemarch or Sherlock Holmes will keep it at bay, despite my morbid curiosity.