A Tale of REVENGE

[evilhippo]

Once upon a time, an innocent girl was sitting at a computer in the Harper USITE lab. Being airheaded particularly absentminded that day, she happened to overlook her RA as she headed to the most secluded computer she could find. A few minutes later, she found her concentration shattered beyond repair as a paper airplane careened into the wall above her. She turned, stared her assailant in the eyes, and swore revenge.

Soon after, at a loss as to what to do, our heroine found herself at the local grocery establishment, aimlessly in search of food. It was here that she discovered the next logical step in her revenge--limes. They were only ten cents each. Obvious revenge food. She purchased three (and a coconut and a pineapple, which she later mostly consumed). On one, she wrote "REVENGE" and, as an afterthought, drew a face. She waited, thinking perhaps a non sequitur lime with "REVENGE" scrawled upon it could be misconstrued as a threat. Finally, at study break, she threw the lime at him. Several times. The war was on.

Days passed; the limes found themselves thrown into rooms at random, until finally they hardened to a near-fatal consistency, causing one to split open as it rolled into the room of an innocent bystander after a particularly involved stand-off.



He had to be repaired, and it was at this point, after handing his broken form to said RA with the words "heal him", that I decided he and his brother ("MORE REVENGE") would be better off retired. Thus, I built them a boat of the airplane that had been thrown at me and tacked them to the RA's bulletin board.

Things were quite for approximately 24 hours... until, apparently, my RA came upon a pumpkin. It appeared in my room, REVENGE scrawled upon it exactly as it had been on my limes. Soon after, cardboard was fetched from the trash room and a boat was constructed. This I snuck into his bathtub, thanks to one of my fellow fourth years happening to need it to shave. (That, in itself, is a strange story. And I also notice I've now somehow switched from third to first person. Oh well, screw it. I've got a lot of work I need to finish tonight.)



I believed this would be the end of the game for tonight, but about a half-hour later, I heard a noise at my door and went to investigate.




The war had escalated. And to think at one point I worried what sort of threat a lime could be seen as. Naturally, after laughing for a good few minutes, I did the only thing I could. I carved REVENGE's face into him.



I'm sure you can imagine what people thought when they saw me carting that through the hallway. He took a few trips to other rooms before returning to the RA's room for a showing of House. Afterwards, I escaped to watch The Daily Show, thinking maybe, finally, I'd be safe, since the two of us had discussed the future of our war and both found ourselves at a loss as to what trouble we could cause next. Until I found this in my refrigerator.



Honestly? I want to keep him in there. But the whole fridge is gonna smell horribly of pickles and pumpkin by tomorrow, and I don't think I'm going to like that when I wake up in the morning. And I'm not sure what I can do from here, aside from taping over his door tonight. Which I think I'll do, just so we can move away from food. At least until watermelons are in season. Bwahahaha.

Comments

[verie.livejournal.com]

*dies a little* That's amazing. I'm envious. I need to get into more fights like that. XD

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

I'm so hoping this keeps going. I'm working out a way to create a floating veggie face hanging at eye-level on his door for tomorrow. (-;

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

I'm totally jealous, I wish people had been that cool when I lived in the dorms. But no, they all just kept their doors shut most of the time. This is probably the coolest thing I've seen all night (and it's got some tough competition from the dumbest Dalek merchandise items ever!), so thank you for that. XDDD

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

It's a shame cool people are so scarce in dorms. You'd think there'd be more willing to do bizarre things like this. But no... I totally lived on a floor full of shut-ins last year. Which is why I love this floor all the more this year. People in Dewey are nuts, and it totally cuts down on the whole soul-crushing academia thing. ^_^

Dumb Dalek merchandise? Like the bubblebath? Because I want some of that. (-;

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like the bubblebath. I saw a Dalek wall clock, an alarm clock, a Dalek webcam, several keychains and figurines, remote-controlled Daleks, a RC Dalek battle set where you make them fight each other, the world's most annoying talking Dalek pen, and a Dalek bottle opener. :DDD; It's like... the Dalek of Rassilon! Or something.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's... kind of overkill. But an RC Dalek battle? That sounds rather awesome. Especially if it's in a well-travelled place. They wouldn't even have to be particularly large Daleks.

(As a side note, I've been trying to figure out how to modulate voices to sound like Daleks so I could take a clip of Hughes shouting "ELYSIA" and make it all Dalek-y and then laugh at myself for being such a dork. And somehow, on the whole of the internet, I cannot find a program that will do ring modulation. What is the world coming to?)

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

The overkill OF RASSILON! Um. ::laughs:: Yeah, they're kind of amusing. Comes with a little figurine of Ten that looks nothing like him. There's a gorgeous foot-tall RC Sec, but with shipping out of Europe included, he's somewhere around $160. D:

(... That would be the coolest thing ever DO IT If you find out how, let me know, because omg that would be so great.)

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Suddenly I understand the appeal of dispensable income... Darnit, that'd be awesome to have. You know what else would be awesome, though, now that I'm thinking of it? A roomba, retrofitted to look like a Dalek. I wonder if I could build one. Because then I could have a little Dalek whirring around my room cleaning up my messes. Messes of Rassilon.

(Why must the internets fail me? Whyyy?)

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

...That would be just about the coolest thing ever. And not terribly difficult to do with some foam core or cardboard or something. OMG, I want one. Lisa found a site earlier that describes how to make a foam Dalek, I bet those instructions could just be modified.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

That would be so amazingly awesome. It's a shame that'd also cost something like $160. Then again, it'd also sweep my floor, and a vacuum cleaner would probably cost near as much... for negative the amount of cool. Man... when I get my own apartment... (Send me those foam Dalek instructions...) (-:

[chocolatemoose.livejournal.com]

bahahahha i can't wait until i visit again in february!

this is AWESOME.

please do keep us updated.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. When you visit, you can help!

[linen.livejournal.com]

XDD I wish my residents would do something that exciting!! XDDDD They seem to enjoy hiding in their rooms for the most part. )': Despite my glorious attempts at merry-making, they continue to ignore.

Maybe I should tape funny stuff up in the hallways.

Weekend!

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Apparently what you need to do is attack first. Preferably unexpectedly in a study space. (-;

Stuff in the halls also works, though. ^_^ Especially if it's just confusing enough to get people to pause and go "wait, what?" ^_^

[solitaryjane.livejournal.com]

You threw limes at Alex? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

By the way, whose knives are those? If they're his you could tape those to the door with a picture of your katana and be like, I've got bigger ones. And then smush pumpkin stuff on his doorknob.