"My Hair's Chunky, It Doesn't Feel Anything"

[evilhippo]

Oh dear... why is the computer the center of everything? My sister is straightening her hair... next to the computer. Does this make any sense? Oh well, nothing my family does makes any sense. Which is why I've made Oven Mitt an icon for myself. We used to hate him, but now his backstory is just touching... noseless, adopted, earless, so alone in the world. What a story! Almost sort of like the story my mom, sister and I came up with at Arby's when he first appeared. He was a formerly drug-addicted oven mit, just trying to feed his family when Arby's offered him the job as their spokesmit. He beat out Punk Mitt, and Ditzy Mitt, and all sorts of other mits for the job. Of course, the other explanation was that the advertising department was just sitting around one night, drunk and/or high, and decided "hehe, that hat looks a lot like an oven mit." Thus was Oven Mitt born. Long Live Oven Mitt!

This still doesn't explain "...the one about the roast and the oven."