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I'm not sure how I feel about today. I actually got myself out of bed this morning and made it downtown to get photo paper (I spent over a hundred dollars! Someone owes me 20 for the stuff I picked up for them but still, omg, another $80 at the end of the quarter... I'm gonna die). I'm liking the fiber-based paper a whole lot, though. It's so much nicer to work with. I'm kind of looking forward to working out the giant 11x14 prints for my final portfolio. Though I'm thinking I could save myself about $40 if I return the larger paper and just finish on 8x10. I'm trying to gauge whether that sort of sucking up would get me an A... Crits went really well tonight (there were actually three prints that were deemed to be good, and there would've been a fourth had I been paying enough attention to put the right print up). People were amused by my strange action figures. I promised my mom I'd scan them, so I'll probably put them up sometime tomorrow.
Working backwards from there, though, there was the three hours in the darkroom. Could've been worse (and has been), but my back is hurting me so much now from being on my feet all the time in there. And the fixer gives me a headache. I think I need new shoes. And to not have been overexposed to nasty fixer fumes for a good part of my childhood. I've also started getting songs stuck in my head based on random numbers I have to remember. I'll be standing there going "all right, another minute in the developer" and random DDR songs will pop into my head. I also spent a good chunk of last night with Ben Gibbard's "Plans Get Complex" in my head because I was exposing the print for 17 seconds.
But I also had a meeting with my BA preceptor today. I realize now part of the bad impression I must've given her involves me forgetting to send her a paragraph description of what I'm doing. I've also discovered that I'm utterly horrible at describing what I want to do. Mostly because I still don't know. I just want to follow these characters and see where I end up, but that's not really an acceptable way of going about things. (Honestly, I'm surprised writing what sounds like a mystery this point is going to be acceptable.) But since I didn't have anything written to show her, I got the impression my preceptor didn't have much faith in me. She also sneered a bit at the fact that I've only taken one writing class here, which, dude, is not my fault. I suppose I could've mentioned the screenwriting class. And when it came to listing my favourite mysteries (which was a lost cause, since I don't read them. I'm just attracted to writing them), I probably should've elaborated on my slight obsession with Sherlock Holmes and the expansion of his character type into others. Though this mystery doesn't really involve a Sherlock Holmes, because goshdarnit I need to get away from writing that stereotype, as much as I love it. It's going to have a freaking female protagonist and... you know, I'm so self-conscious about the concept right now, because I'm trying to keep it away from bordering on fanfic or whatever I'd rather be writing, in an attempt to make it sound like what I should be writing. I'd like to write a female protagonist that didn't suck, but I know what'll happen first is that I'll get frustrated and tired of her, and I'll ditch her literary stalker along with her (even though right now, he's a more interesting character to me since he's got a bit more complexity to him). And then I'll have no protagonist at all, and probably run off to the military and readopt Shadow from the outskirts I've tossed him to. But he works so well as a side-character that I really don't want to do that to him. I know he's going to be around, though... because I want him to be. I just... need a way to justify it. Um. I also need to get away from the military/government. I need a good conspiracy, regardless, though. Unless Shadow sticks around where he is so he can be the conspiracy. Homunculus doesn't carry over, though, and I was going to go sci-fi and do a sort of cyborg thing, but... argh. Cyborgs. Androids. Meh. And if I go sci-fi, I can't keep things as... blind-to-technology as I prefer. It can't be all "oh ho ho, my journalist girl is writing everything by hand, nobody watches TV and oops, here's a cyborg." Maybe brainwashing. Brainwashing would be cool. Brainwashing of clones. I want clones... clones are so much fun. Probably haven't been done to death like cyborgs, either. Much. Maybe just short of dead, or on the more recent side of dead. Sigh. I'm suddenly so incredibly terrified of this whole thing.
I think I'm going to really need someone to talk at about this for quite a while sometime in the nearish future. Gah. I think I've gotten way too used to writing collaboratively, yet somehow managed to completely avoid the bit where I'm even the slightest bit less disgustingly self-conscious of my ideas and writing.
Working backwards from there, though, there was the three hours in the darkroom. Could've been worse (and has been), but my back is hurting me so much now from being on my feet all the time in there. And the fixer gives me a headache. I think I need new shoes. And to not have been overexposed to nasty fixer fumes for a good part of my childhood. I've also started getting songs stuck in my head based on random numbers I have to remember. I'll be standing there going "all right, another minute in the developer" and random DDR songs will pop into my head. I also spent a good chunk of last night with Ben Gibbard's "Plans Get Complex" in my head because I was exposing the print for 17 seconds.
But I also had a meeting with my BA preceptor today. I realize now part of the bad impression I must've given her involves me forgetting to send her a paragraph description of what I'm doing. I've also discovered that I'm utterly horrible at describing what I want to do. Mostly because I still don't know. I just want to follow these characters and see where I end up, but that's not really an acceptable way of going about things. (Honestly, I'm surprised writing what sounds like a mystery this point is going to be acceptable.) But since I didn't have anything written to show her, I got the impression my preceptor didn't have much faith in me. She also sneered a bit at the fact that I've only taken one writing class here, which, dude, is not my fault. I suppose I could've mentioned the screenwriting class. And when it came to listing my favourite mysteries (which was a lost cause, since I don't read them. I'm just attracted to writing them), I probably should've elaborated on my slight obsession with Sherlock Holmes and the expansion of his character type into others. Though this mystery doesn't really involve a Sherlock Holmes, because goshdarnit I need to get away from writing that stereotype, as much as I love it. It's going to have a freaking female protagonist and... you know, I'm so self-conscious about the concept right now, because I'm trying to keep it away from bordering on fanfic or whatever I'd rather be writing, in an attempt to make it sound like what I should be writing. I'd like to write a female protagonist that didn't suck, but I know what'll happen first is that I'll get frustrated and tired of her, and I'll ditch her literary stalker along with her (even though right now, he's a more interesting character to me since he's got a bit more complexity to him). And then I'll have no protagonist at all, and probably run off to the military and readopt Shadow from the outskirts I've tossed him to. But he works so well as a side-character that I really don't want to do that to him. I know he's going to be around, though... because I want him to be. I just... need a way to justify it. Um. I also need to get away from the military/government. I need a good conspiracy, regardless, though. Unless Shadow sticks around where he is so he can be the conspiracy. Homunculus doesn't carry over, though, and I was going to go sci-fi and do a sort of cyborg thing, but... argh. Cyborgs. Androids. Meh. And if I go sci-fi, I can't keep things as... blind-to-technology as I prefer. It can't be all "oh ho ho, my journalist girl is writing everything by hand, nobody watches TV and oops, here's a cyborg." Maybe brainwashing. Brainwashing would be cool. Brainwashing of clones. I want clones... clones are so much fun. Probably haven't been done to death like cyborgs, either. Much. Maybe just short of dead, or on the more recent side of dead. Sigh. I'm suddenly so incredibly terrified of this whole thing.
I think I'm going to really need someone to talk at about this for quite a while sometime in the nearish future. Gah. I think I've gotten way too used to writing collaboratively, yet somehow managed to completely avoid the bit where I'm even the slightest bit less disgustingly self-conscious of my ideas and writing.
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