Breakfast: A Play in One Act

[evilhippo]

Curtain rises on a small set containing a living room and a kitchen, divided by a door. Stage left, a girl sits at her desk in front of her computer, bagel sandwich and fried potatoes next to her.

Girl: La la la, checking my e-mail and obsessing over last.fm, la la la.

Sandwich: ::stares innocently upwards::

Girl: ::takes bite of sandwich:: Hmm... something isn't right. Must be because I burnt the bagel slightly. La la la.

Sandwich: ::begins to menace slightly::

Girl: ::has some of the potatoes, then more of the sandwich:: No, something is definitely funny here... ::getting that "stop eating this" feeling::

Sandwich: ::innocent::

Girl: That's it, sandwich. Open up.

Sandwich: No.

Girl: Open! ::pulls sandwich apart and peers into its innards:: Your egg isn't done. Huh. Guess I'll put you into the microwave. ::walks into the kitchen and puts sandwich in the microwave for 30 seconds::

Egg: Ha ha, I'm still not done.

Girl: Wtf, egg, you are still gooey. ::turns top half of the sandwich upwards and puts it back in for another minute::

Sausage: Hahaha, we're gonna taste funny now.

Girl: Shut up, sausage. ::removes sandwich, inspects egg again::

Egg: Nope, I'm still gonna be gooey.

Girl: ::feeling impending food poisoning:: Goshdarnit, egg. Decemberists concert! Food poisoning = no!

Egg: I remain uncooked!

Girl: Fine! ::turns burner back on and throws egg half of the sandwich back in the frying pan... waits...::

Stomach: I kind of hurt.

Girl: Shut up! Concert tonight!

Brain: You should really call that girl you're going to the concert with.

Girl: Quiet, you!

Egg: I am still not cooked!

Girl: Wtf, egg?!

Egg: I may decide to take until 7:00 tonight to cook.

Girl: Concerrrrrrt!

Stomach: ::growl::

Potential Food Poisoning: ::lingers menacingly in the background::

Girl: You will pay for this, egg. You will pay.