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Ah, this paper is driving me nuts. I can pull tons of stuff out of this story, but I can't get myself to limit it to one section (which is the idea with this length of paper, apparently). So I'm just sitting here going over the story and writing outlines about the characters in some vain attempt to get to something that's both interesting and... possible to write about without branching out to the entire story until the final paragraph or so. It was so much easier last quarter when I could limit myself to a word and talk about the entire story.
And the more I read this story, the more I'm frightened by how much I was/am like the main character. I really don't like him. I think he's boring and rather stupid. But I've got this terrifying feeling that, had I stayed at home for college, I'd be a lot like him. And that makes me mad at him, since I can't be mad at a version of me that could have existed, but doesn't. And I think the really scary part is, until I'm more removed from who I am now, I can't be certain that I'm not still like him. Though at least I've left home, so I'm not snobbily sitting around looking out my window and thinking about how much better I am than everyone else without realizing that that's I'm doing. Maybe I've been thinking too much lately about how much people don't change when they don't leave home ever. Mostly because my sister seems to be certain she's not leaving for college. And that makes me sad. I think it'd be about the worst thing ever, because she can just stay the same. She needs to be dragged out of Youngstown, exposed to the real world. She needs to realize that the stupid things people do in podunktownarmpitoftheuniverse are not... universal. That clubs in Chicago would never let you in with a YSU ID just because it's a college ID and that implies you're over 18, that not all black people sound like the bus driver she overheard while I was on the phone with her, that identifying an accent doesn't make you racist, that... gah. Staying in Youngstown/Akron just isn't good for you. You adapt to one place, and if you never go away, you don't learn that there are other ways of looking at things. It's depressing. I mean... so is being a total relativist, but... I don't know. There's something about staying all neat and tidy in one little world that bothers me. I can't relate to it anymore. Maybe it's a sort of nostalgic jealousy. But I'd prefer to think it isn't. Even though I'm such a freaking snob for wanting to be able to look down on it or something, and I'm not sure I've moved away from it myself. Then again, there are people who can go around everywhere and never move outside their world. I've met a few of them. Well-travelled, static people. So maybe it's more about learning, I don't know. And now that I think more about it, those're really the two poles these characters inhabit. Unchanging travelly and unchanging stationary. So great... I'm having trouble narrowing this paper down to one section, and in thinking about it I have decided to expand it to cover the whole of human existence. Go me. I guess at least you can kind of excuse the stationary guy, since he doesn't have the experience/is too innocent to know any better (which is drilled into your skull constantly. Gee thanks, James Joyce). The other dude's just an obnoxious git.
Um, on a less obnoxious front, it's been ages since I've posted pictures. So here are some random ones from October, mostly the aftermath of the crazy storm we had. I haven't gone through all of them yet, so there might be more later. But for now, I'm just happy to have gotten the stuff off my camera.
And the more I read this story, the more I'm frightened by how much I was/am like the main character. I really don't like him. I think he's boring and rather stupid. But I've got this terrifying feeling that, had I stayed at home for college, I'd be a lot like him. And that makes me mad at him, since I can't be mad at a version of me that could have existed, but doesn't. And I think the really scary part is, until I'm more removed from who I am now, I can't be certain that I'm not still like him. Though at least I've left home, so I'm not snobbily sitting around looking out my window and thinking about how much better I am than everyone else without realizing that that's I'm doing. Maybe I've been thinking too much lately about how much people don't change when they don't leave home ever. Mostly because my sister seems to be certain she's not leaving for college. And that makes me sad. I think it'd be about the worst thing ever, because she can just stay the same. She needs to be dragged out of Youngstown, exposed to the real world. She needs to realize that the stupid things people do in podunktownarmpitoftheuniverse are not... universal. That clubs in Chicago would never let you in with a YSU ID just because it's a college ID and that implies you're over 18, that not all black people sound like the bus driver she overheard while I was on the phone with her, that identifying an accent doesn't make you racist, that... gah. Staying in Youngstown/Akron just isn't good for you. You adapt to one place, and if you never go away, you don't learn that there are other ways of looking at things. It's depressing. I mean... so is being a total relativist, but... I don't know. There's something about staying all neat and tidy in one little world that bothers me. I can't relate to it anymore. Maybe it's a sort of nostalgic jealousy. But I'd prefer to think it isn't. Even though I'm such a freaking snob for wanting to be able to look down on it or something, and I'm not sure I've moved away from it myself. Then again, there are people who can go around everywhere and never move outside their world. I've met a few of them. Well-travelled, static people. So maybe it's more about learning, I don't know. And now that I think more about it, those're really the two poles these characters inhabit. Unchanging travelly and unchanging stationary. So great... I'm having trouble narrowing this paper down to one section, and in thinking about it I have decided to expand it to cover the whole of human existence. Go me. I guess at least you can kind of excuse the stationary guy, since he doesn't have the experience/is too innocent to know any better (which is drilled into your skull constantly. Gee thanks, James Joyce). The other dude's just an obnoxious git.
Um, on a less obnoxious front, it's been ages since I've posted pictures. So here are some random ones from October, mostly the aftermath of the crazy storm we had. I haven't gone through all of them yet, so there might be more later. But for now, I'm just happy to have gotten the stuff off my camera.
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