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Okay... this is about the stupidest e-mail I have ever gotten. However, the girl who sent it to me (who, incidentally, hasn't talked to me since 8th grade or so) is not someone I feel like annoying by just hitting "Reply All" and chewing her out. Every single point the e-mail brings up further proves that, well, whoever wrote it is just effing stupid, that's all. So I'm going to rant about it here.
Robin Williams You Got to Love This
You gotta love Robin Williams... Leave it to Robin Williams to come
up with the perfect plan .. what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to
stand up and repeat this message.
You know, I really know very little about Robin Williams. Acts in a few movies, sort of funny guy. Whatever. If he actually came up with this and wasn't joking, well, umm... I'll know better than to pay a whole lot of attention to the rest of his political philosophy, I guess.
Robin William's plan. (Hard to argue with this logic!)
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan
for peace. So, here's one plan.
1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in
their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo,
Noriega, Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never
"interfere" again.
Oh yes, WWII was a massive interference on our part. Because you can totally compare Sadam to someone who was planning on taking over all of Europe. I don' t deny that he was being a jerk over there and doing lots of atrocious things but, dude, our reasons for being there are about as holy (excuse the pun) as a wool dress that's been in a closet with Mothra for a few decades. In fact, this is probably why "interfere" is in "quotes." One instance is clearly interference. The other is not. Yay!
2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We
would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking
through holes in the fence.
Ummm... okay. We have troops keeping peace in Germany now?
3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and
leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the
remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who
or where they are. France would welcome them.
Oh yes, we have nothing else to say. Let's take a jab at France. Go screw yourself.
4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days
unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be
allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide
here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more
cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
No more immigrants! Wow, that doesn't sound elitist at all. Yes, that's a great idea. Let's close all the borders so the stupid becomes even more concentrated.
5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the
bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home
baby.
Ok... so... ummm... no foreign students are allowed to finish college, then? Because, umm, I'm pretty sure most of us turn 22 our senior year. And what about people from countries like Singapore? They can't come over here until they're at least 21 or so anyway because of mandatory military service. And oh yes, I'm sure my RA from last year is totally going to bomb us. You know, he'll make a special trip back from London now just to do that. Get a grip. It's not about "age" here.
6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient
energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy
but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness.
The caribou will have to cope for a while.
Or we could just not drill in Alaska, because the Caribou won't "deal." And we all know once they start they aren't going to stop. We've already got a fair number of viable energy sources. Are you telling me big oil is going to let their profits drop and allow this to happen? Because I doubt it.
7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a
barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They
can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the
wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
Oh yes, because no one else is going to buy their oil. Like China and India, who are both going to be consuming ungodly amounts of oil soon anyway, since so many people are suddenly getting cars there. And if we're going to be "self-sufficient energy-wise," why do we need the oil anyway? Oh, right. Sorry, the world does not revolve around the US. It will get on without us.
8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we
will not "interfere," They can pray to Allah or whomever, for
seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give
them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very
little, if anything.
This is the single most insensitive, stupid... stupid thing I have seen written in a long time. Just because people are evil enough to take some of the relief funds doesn't mean that we should stop. GAH!
9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't
need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the
building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
This... doesn't even make sense. What?
10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one
can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is
ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your
tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's
yelling,
'You want a piece of me?'"
~~~If you agree with the above forward it to friend...
If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it !!!!!
I barely have a response to this. Charm and Beauty school is, clearly, not going to fix the reason that other countries think we're stupid. This is why other people think we're stupid. Yes, there are a lot of nutters and slobs in the country, watching Nascar and drinking beer. Sending them to charm school isn't going to fix that. Even if we're all prim and proper, touting these ideas isn't going to get us any respect. The US has already got a baseball bat, and is already screaming "You want a piece of me?" That's why the world hates us right now! So much of this thing is so freaking contradictory. Oh yes, this is our plan for peace. We will hide in our shell and teach ourselves to be pretty so you can't call us ugly anymore and we're not playing with you and we're moving the UN to an island where terrorists can't find it because it's supposed to be made of our friends and... Let me just beat my head against the desk here for a bit until it all goes away... And yes, I realize that none of my arguments against this are particularly useful or coherant, because this just made me mad. Grrr.
Robin Williams You Got to Love This
You gotta love Robin Williams... Leave it to Robin Williams to come
up with the perfect plan .. what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to
stand up and repeat this message.
You know, I really know very little about Robin Williams. Acts in a few movies, sort of funny guy. Whatever. If he actually came up with this and wasn't joking, well, umm... I'll know better than to pay a whole lot of attention to the rest of his political philosophy, I guess.
Robin William's plan. (Hard to argue with this logic!)
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan
for peace. So, here's one plan.
1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in
their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo,
Noriega, Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never
"interfere" again.
Oh yes, WWII was a massive interference on our part. Because you can totally compare Sadam to someone who was planning on taking over all of Europe. I don' t deny that he was being a jerk over there and doing lots of atrocious things but, dude, our reasons for being there are about as holy (excuse the pun) as a wool dress that's been in a closet with Mothra for a few decades. In fact, this is probably why "interfere" is in "quotes." One instance is clearly interference. The other is not. Yay!
2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We
would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking
through holes in the fence.
Ummm... okay. We have troops keeping peace in Germany now?
3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and
leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the
remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who
or where they are. France would welcome them.
Oh yes, we have nothing else to say. Let's take a jab at France. Go screw yourself.
4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days
unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be
allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide
here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more
cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
No more immigrants! Wow, that doesn't sound elitist at all. Yes, that's a great idea. Let's close all the borders so the stupid becomes even more concentrated.
5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the
bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home
baby.
Ok... so... ummm... no foreign students are allowed to finish college, then? Because, umm, I'm pretty sure most of us turn 22 our senior year. And what about people from countries like Singapore? They can't come over here until they're at least 21 or so anyway because of mandatory military service. And oh yes, I'm sure my RA from last year is totally going to bomb us. You know, he'll make a special trip back from London now just to do that. Get a grip. It's not about "age" here.
6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient
energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy
but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness.
The caribou will have to cope for a while.
Or we could just not drill in Alaska, because the Caribou won't "deal." And we all know once they start they aren't going to stop. We've already got a fair number of viable energy sources. Are you telling me big oil is going to let their profits drop and allow this to happen? Because I doubt it.
7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a
barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They
can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the
wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
Oh yes, because no one else is going to buy their oil. Like China and India, who are both going to be consuming ungodly amounts of oil soon anyway, since so many people are suddenly getting cars there. And if we're going to be "self-sufficient energy-wise," why do we need the oil anyway? Oh, right. Sorry, the world does not revolve around the US. It will get on without us.
8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we
will not "interfere," They can pray to Allah or whomever, for
seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give
them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very
little, if anything.
This is the single most insensitive, stupid... stupid thing I have seen written in a long time. Just because people are evil enough to take some of the relief funds doesn't mean that we should stop. GAH!
9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't
need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the
building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
This... doesn't even make sense. What?
10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one
can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is
ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your
tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's
yelling,
'You want a piece of me?'"
~~~If you agree with the above forward it to friend...
If not, and I would be amazed, DELETE it !!!!!
I barely have a response to this. Charm and Beauty school is, clearly, not going to fix the reason that other countries think we're stupid. This is why other people think we're stupid. Yes, there are a lot of nutters and slobs in the country, watching Nascar and drinking beer. Sending them to charm school isn't going to fix that. Even if we're all prim and proper, touting these ideas isn't going to get us any respect. The US has already got a baseball bat, and is already screaming "You want a piece of me?" That's why the world hates us right now! So much of this thing is so freaking contradictory. Oh yes, this is our plan for peace. We will hide in our shell and teach ourselves to be pretty so you can't call us ugly anymore and we're not playing with you and we're moving the UN to an island where terrorists can't find it because it's supposed to be made of our friends and... Let me just beat my head against the desk here for a bit until it all goes away... And yes, I realize that none of my arguments against this are particularly useful or coherant, because this just made me mad. Grrr.
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From:
no subject
it sounded like it was written facetiously.
it's gotta be a joke... it's too absurd not to be.
right?
that little thing at the end, though "forward if you agree"... um.
right.
sigh.
don't worry, i still heart (<3!!) you sensible people.
:)
i miss you, by the way.
i've been so tired these days. hence the not keeping up with the friendslist dealie.
From:
no subject
It's sad that I have to be the sensible one. (-;
::pats:: It's okay. I've been horribly anti-social lately (people here are driving me insane in the tiniest of little ways and it makes me want to throw things). At least you've still got a while until finals week. I think we're all on edge here because we're smack in the middle of ours. Bleh.
I'd sign on to MSN and harass you, but I think I'm going to run to the dining hall and eat. ^_^
From:
no subject
but at least there are sensible people like you, right? :-)
good luck with all your finals... i didn't realize it was so soon!
but you still have another quarter left, right?
i'm already getting nervous for my finals. generally it's an okay schedule, but i have philosophy one night from 7 - 10 pm, and then calculus the next morning at 9 am. THAT will be brutal, because i need to study like hell for both of those exams.
would you believe that i'm actually contemplating sleep?
i think i might watch a movie and then fall asleep. i've been just so exhausted. i can't even find it in me, emotionally or mentally, to write some emails that i need to write. i definitely don't feel right now like i could be anyone's support or encouragement, so i don't have the heart to write anything. which is sad, and i feel bad, but i'm just beat.
enjoy you foooood.