Ewww, they've changed the postie layout again

Erm, aside from my subject-line complaining... just a note to let people know I'm still alive, I suppose. Though bored out of my mind and, just to complete the flashback to last summer (only minus the greenness and warmish), completely devoid of motivation. Not that I wasn't all quarter. Maybe I'm just broken.

So, anyone have anything they want to see written that they could motivate/force me to write, possibly through various threats, cajoling, bribes, etc.? My mind just becomes instantly barren when I open a word processor. It's scary and depressing. Especially considering the amount of plotting I can get done when I'm not thinking I need to get it done. This is why writing can never be my profession, you know?

Also, I wish I liked my preceptor more. That whole glaring at me in the coffee shop before she knew it was me thing has completely thrown me off, probably for the entire future, because she doesn't seem the type, really, to go out on a limb and change her opinion of me, or do anything to make up for it. Not that I made a wonderful impression either, since I didn't have anything written for her. Which wasn't a requirement, so I think she was just being snobbish about it, but... whatever.

Obviously my brain is all shot to heck right now, as I'm fretting about my BA already. My only hope is that my faculty advisor will be cool so I might get the chance to actually worry less about things once the quarter starts. Oh please, please. Because I'm not going to be able to take this otherwise. And I don't want to have to drop the whole thing so early on. Even if my writing style sucks and I have no decent ideas.

(I'm blaming my pessimism on this stupid cold my mom gave me. And that 70% of my day is spent doing nothing while listening to various family members argue and/or sulk. It sucks.)

There are some who say my journal-posting is bi-polar... (YAY!)

My grades are in! I was completely expecting to be discouraged, since this quarter sucked so badly. But I somehow pulled a B+ in Poetry (thank goodness for that. I don't want to have to take another poetry class to bring my GPA up in that requirement). I was a little disappointed that I only managed a B+ in Photo, but considering the amount of dust that camped out on my negatives for the final (and would not go away!), it seems fair. Until I think about how it isn't my fault the darkroom was dusty and evil, but... I'm trying not to think about that.

The big shock, though, is that I somehow pulled off an A- in Intro to Fiction. That... was rather shocking. Sometimes I pull a grade up a little on the final paper, because I'm psycho about them, but... omg. I didn't get higher than a B on either of the first papers. In fact, I got a B- on the first and a B on the second. And I never participated in discussion (though I did communicate with the TA, which I suppose gets me some pity points). But hmm. Either there was a massive curve, or my final paper was a lot better than I thought it was.

I was expecting Cs or B-s this quarter. But now it looks like I'm morally obligated to continue my quest for honors, because I somehow didn't completely sabotage myself this quarter. That means I need to get writing...

And thus the cycle begins again. Why can't I write anything?! Why?

I did get out of the house today, though! Even if it was just a grocery store run, it was still nice to be outside. And my mom and I are running to the fabric store tomorrow so I can get fabric to patch my jeans with. That ought to be interesting. I should, perhaps, learn not to stick my toes through the holes that are already in my jeans every time I put them on, because it only makes them into freakishly huge holes. Which are freaking cold in the bitter winterly Chicago wind.