Conspiracy!

I am being oppressed! Goshdarnit, post office, losing my absentee ballot. The elections office is all "OMG grr how dare you say the words 'absentee ballot' to us today!" "Oh wait what, you didn't get one? Why didn't you call us sooner?" Erm, because I assumed you were busy and, had I called, you'd have gone "Durr, just wait for it, we sent it." And they had the nerve to say "well, maybe your dorm didn't give it to you." But I can't hold anything against them because they seemed like nice ladies (even if one did call me "honey") that'd just heard the words 'absentee ballot' too many times. So now I have to hate the post office. Which isn't that hard. But... dude. How did I get my Decemberists tickets and not my ballot? How did I get my 75 cent refund from the freaking dryer and not my ballot? How did I get two metric tons of political propaganda from each side... and not my ballot?? My only conclusion is that, since the USPS belongs to the government, and the government is currently about 95% evil (I'd like to see that reduced to something in the 80s), someone must've stopped my ballot's noble march to my waiting arms.

How dare you, USPS? You are all that's between me and my right to vote democracy (FREEDOM!, being the buzzword, is probably what I should shout), and I am a fair bit ticked about that. Because even if you magically summon my ballot to my mailbox tomorrow, I DON'T GET TO VOTE. Not that Ohio would bother to count it anyway, since Ohio is one giant rigged election. But... grr! Screw it, I'm just gonna go become a citizen of Lovely!