Relief!

I don't think I realized how much waiting for my first paper back from my Origin of Species class was weighing down on me. Oh my goodness, I've been terrified about it since the day after I turned it in when I started noticing holes I'd left in the arguments and things I probably hadn't proofread properly and... well, it was just sort of a bad paper in my mind, because I refused to re-read it. And it's been a month. A month since I turned it in. But we finally got them back today, and I actually did better than I thought I did. (Of course, I was just praying that I didn't have a one on it, and I would've been very happy with a five or six. No need to mention my score... greater than six, less than ten. Not great by any means (it was out of twelve, because this prof seems to have an obsession with that number), but tolerable. It scares me how much this school has killed my confidence in my writing if I was expecting around half-credit. Sigh. And, unfortunately, the euphoria from not failing was very temporary. I've still got a French listening thing to finish, and corrections on two writing assignments for tomorrow. I've also got to find a movie to watch, and hope against all hopes that people haven't taken all the lector interview sessions between now and the end of the week, because I couldn't find any times last week and none of the times were up for this week yet. If this marks the third week that I haven't been able to sign up for one I am totally and utterly screwed. Beyond all belief. It's bad enough that I've got two movies in French to watch, because that's required. I wish I could just keep taking the easy way out and avoid having to spend even more time fretting over French. And on Thursday I'm going to have to worry about both this movie and an article in French.

But... um... well, on the bright side, at least now I can worry marginally less about having to withdraw from the Darwin class, so maybe I can afford to take French pass/fail!

It's really, really sad that this has to be the bright side to things. Stupid school. Maybe I'll feel better if I nap until like, two in the morning and then get up. Except I don't think lack of sleep is really my reason for lack of motivation. I think I'm just stressed out, and burnt out, and... yeah. Just a tiny bit of time to myself, when I don't have to worry about procrastinating. I mean, I caught myself last night worrying about not doing my homework while I was doing my homework. I was sitting on the couch reading Socrates for Civ when it occured to me that I should really be doing homework. (And I'll assure you that it wasn't just because the Apology was so fun to read that it didn't feel like homework.) That is not a good sign!