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Exhibit A:
"TRAVEL ACROSS NORTHEAST ILLINOIS AND NORTHWEST INDIANA WILL BE HAZARDOUS. THE THURSDAY AFTERNOON AND FRIDAY MORNING RUSH HOURS WILL BE IMPACTED."
Exhibit B:
"Please be advised that we have a meeting tomorrow Friday 1/8/2010 at 8:15 a.m. Please do not be late. Sorry for the short notice."
I would like to draw the attention of the court to the timing of Exhibit B. Though the exact timestamp was omitted from the exhibit I hope the court will trust my honesty in saying that it was sent no more than two hours before the end of workday Thursday, January 7. Also, though no exhibit is available I hope the court will also admit as evidence the fact that there has not been an employee meeting for approximately 8 months, or since the conference room was converted into more cubicles, whichever is more recent. In light of the excerpt provided from Exhibit A, the full text of which was available at the time of dissemination of Exhibit B and for several hours beforehand, I hereby pray that the court will adjudge the defendant guilty of attempted murder or, should a lesser count be necessary, contemptuous employee abuse.
(Man frak guys I was half an hour late today how am I supposed to be 15 minutes early tomorrow? This is the midwest. After December we don't move snow, we just sit around and wait for it to melt or blow away or something.)
"TRAVEL ACROSS NORTHEAST ILLINOIS AND NORTHWEST INDIANA WILL BE HAZARDOUS. THE THURSDAY AFTERNOON AND FRIDAY MORNING RUSH HOURS WILL BE IMPACTED."
Exhibit B:
"Please be advised that we have a meeting tomorrow Friday 1/8/2010 at 8:15 a.m. Please do not be late. Sorry for the short notice."
I would like to draw the attention of the court to the timing of Exhibit B. Though the exact timestamp was omitted from the exhibit I hope the court will trust my honesty in saying that it was sent no more than two hours before the end of workday Thursday, January 7. Also, though no exhibit is available I hope the court will also admit as evidence the fact that there has not been an employee meeting for approximately 8 months, or since the conference room was converted into more cubicles, whichever is more recent. In light of the excerpt provided from Exhibit A, the full text of which was available at the time of dissemination of Exhibit B and for several hours beforehand, I hereby pray that the court will adjudge the defendant guilty of attempted murder or, should a lesser count be necessary, contemptuous employee abuse.
(Man frak guys I was half an hour late today how am I supposed to be 15 minutes early tomorrow? This is the midwest. After December we don't move snow, we just sit around and wait for it to melt or blow away or something.)
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