Dear me...

Dear Self,

You are supposed to be rewriting your statement of purpose. I know this is annoying, since you basically need to rewrite the entire thing. "But I have no purpose," you say. "My only purpose is to write a BA. For fun." That's not going to take up two pages. Unless you use a really large font. And I'm pretty sure that's a faux pas. So you're just going to have to lie, aren't you? Because, let's face it, no one believes you that this is fun anyway. And the faculty people who are going to have to read this don't need to know that you're a masochist. Basically, only your adviser and preceptor need to know that. And I'm sure after this next coming revision (in which you will be writing the end at the beginning so you can get away with past tense for the rest of it) they will be very familiar with that fact. No one in their right mind would rewrite a BA three times.

Crap Crap Crappity Crap What Have You Gotten Yourself Into?,
Your Self.

Oh, when thou speakst of dreaming

Dearest Me,

It dost not please me to vex you again so soon, dear self, with letters,
but methinks it would not be forward of me to suggest
when thou findst thyself in repose, thou shouldst voyage not in thy mind
to the realm of dreaming whilst thy thought persists in poetic measure.
Tis not a habit befits one of two and twenty in writing natural
much less in subconscious venture.

Do think upon this, self, afore thou nap'st next,
else fair insanity's hand upon thy head shall alight
ne'er sparing thee her plunder nor her plight.

Zounds!
- Me

Nevermind that badly conjugated formal English != iambic pentameter. I've only had five hours of sleep today. And part of that was in meter, so it doesn't count.