Theory of the Universe

You know, it's rare but sometimes conversations just turn in totally amusing directions. Tonight, I honestly had one of the first truly philosophical conversations I've had here. And it was fairly serious for a bit as we discussed Buddhism and how as far as white people (who always get it wrong) are concerned, Buddhism is a big spiritual thing that involves Yoga every morning and a good taste for sushi. (Thus the reason I could never consider myself, as a white person, a Buddhist. Hehehe. I love the inherant racism against our own races that appears in conversations here). Naturally I eventually broke the conversation to my own ends though, when my whole "faith" issue came up. After an aborted attempt to explain my deal with God ("Okay, if you're up there or if you're not, I'm going to try to be good. Now, if you're cool you'll let me in. And if you're not, then I don't want to be up there anyway" is basically it), I ended up crossing over into the bad metaphors category trying to explain the universe. I think this came after the whole "Well, I mean, there's got to be something else out there, because I refuse to believe that it just randomly started." And naturally I fell back on my horrible board game metaphors. I toyed with it being a game of Chinese Checkers, which was shot down in a way I don't remember (something about it not being an elegant enough game). Go was suggested, which I shot down because it made sense. From there, I got quite surreal and said it was like Chutes and Ladders, which was apparently too simplistic. Plus the rules made sense. So I decided it was Go played on a a Chutes and Ladders board. Again, too surreal. When suddenly it dawned on me. The universe... the universe is clearly governed by a cosmic game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. The blue, yellow, green, and pink hippos (and I honestly got the colours right on the first try, which is a further testament to its merit as a universal truth inherent in all of us) represent different parts of life, and their ability to gobble marbles determines the balance. Naming the hippos came next (Henry, Harry, Homer, and Happy are the originals, for reference sake). Or at least, naming their seperate elements. First came the most unpredictable of the hippos, Havoc the Chaos Hippo. Then there came Null, the Void Hippo. Followed by Thnik, the Reason Hippo. And finally, Happy, the Other Hippo. And, depending on which hippo can gobble the most of your... multi-colored plastic marbles of destiny on a given day determines your future. It's all quite elegant and, well, chaotic. So I hereby declare myself a Hippotheist. It fits.

I also discovered that you can have a replacement bag of marbles sent to you for a mere two dollars, which includes shipping and handling. So you see, a very worthy conversation was had indeed.

The Dark Lord is Teh Ebil

Just a friendly public service announcement... It was revealed earlier today that the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be Lord Voldemort. ... Or, you know, Darth Vader.