I don't have the attention span for anything substantive tonight, so instead I'm nabbing a meme from [livejournal.com profile] zolac_no_miko and [livejournal.com profile] look_alive because... well... it's kind of awesome.

I would like all my LJ friends to comment about how you got to know me. But I want you to LIE. That's right. Just make it up. If you'd like, copy this to your journal so I can do the same.
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I've actually had time to be bored tonight! It's awesome! I'd forgotten what bored feels like. I've read the NYT, watched the Chicago mayoral debates (Rahm really seems to have it in for limousines and private jets. Also no cursing. I am disappoint!), tried to catch up on the world... and then I puttered around Reddit for a bit and came across a question I would like to pose to all of you, because 1) bored! and 2) for some reason these kind of questions have been popping up all the time lately and I've realized that I never ask people nonsense secretly-about-life-philosophy questions.

Which (one) of these magical items would you choose, and why? (Assuming a no-trick-genie rule here, because I don't want to think about being crushed under a metric ton of moose jerky.)

1. A pot that can produce 1,000 kilograms of any food a day.
2. A bracelet that keeps weather perfect wherever you go and within a 250 kilometre radius.
3. A necklace that allows you to touch books and instantly absorb knowledge from them, without reading.
4. An unlimited bottle of perfume that will make you wildly attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re gay), which cannot be used on anyone you love.
5. A watch that allows you to reverse time by a minute or less per day.
6. A bell that when rang fixes any one object at a time, excluding living things, within a minute.
7. A chocolate bar, with twelve pieces, that makes anyone who eats a single piece invincible and youthful until the age of 160.
8. A no fuel required, maintenance free, eight person van that can take you anywhere on the planet within one second.
9. A remote control that allows you and another person to change, superficially, into anyone you want; the effect lasts until you decide to revert.
10. An immortal dog that poops out one gold coin every time it goes to the bathroom.

As for my answer... )
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evilhippo: hippo (73 [attack])
( Nov. 14th, 2010 03:16 pm)


Aand the end! (You are exiled TO THE MOON.)

It also occurs to me now that I shouldn't have posted this so soon after posting my Yuletide letter because there are more people than usual ending up at my journal and oh gosh, guys, I am not always entirely insane, only when provoked! (Though I do turn reasonable things into treatises on gender a lot lately, so that part is probably true.)
evilhippo: hippo (100 [grin])
( Nov. 14th, 2010 03:13 pm)


This is quiet even though I'm almost shouting, sorry! My phone is not entirely excellent. Also, you can tell the bits I outlined and wrote down because they don't have a million 'ums' between them.

P.S. Randall Munroe also believes that sex and gender are really complicated so that makes it the most complicated thing in the universe, QED.
evilhippo: hippo (31 [awesome])
( Nov. 11th, 2010 09:49 pm)
I had so many grand plans for tonight, involving (in this order) Working Late and Catching up on Service Transferred Files, followed by things involving Word Counts, and probably some Grocery Shopping. I made it fifteen minutes into Working Late when I noticed that it was dark and I'd just spent the last fifteen minutes with my head in my hands wondering why one of our clients was asking me to confirm that their system was correct in listing the property in question as being located in the city of "3 Chicago" and another was shouting at me in CAPS LOCK about how my careless mistake due to not being trained on the software and not being able to get answers from any of the reps was something that just CANNOT BE THIS WAY. Then I got home and the rest of the plans rapidly devolved into Eating Rocky Road Ice Cream for Dinner and Reading the Yuletide Fandom List (Anthropomorphic Academic Institutions? Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)? Entire Andrew Bird albums?). This cheered me a bit, and pretty much cemented my desire to participate this year. Also: next year, I am going to find a way to nominate NPR as a fandom, because... because let's not get into that but it should happen.) But now it's after 9:30 and I've done utterly nothing with the only free evening I've had this week. (I think this means the mental downtime was probably necessary, and so I'm doing my best not to feel useless about it.)

So, putting all that behind me now... I am stealing a meme from [livejournal.com profile] bluerose16 because it is awesome funtimes and you guys can make fun of how Chicago is creeping into my otherwise-innocent midwestern accent, or make me try to read my awkward prose aloud. Or both. Or, you know, the crux of the thing:

Ask me questions. Something you're curious about, just feeling silly, whatever. I will answer in a voice post in a couple of days, when I can answer them all in one go.

Edit: Oh wait, NPR is a fandom. I love the internet. But there is a sad, sad lack of Lake Wobegon and Garrison Keillor, which is, in fact, what I would write about.
It seems to be about time for me to get off the whole travelly-thinky-talky go-round for a bit. I will try to do this with as little pointless, gripe-y chatter about work as possible.

As such, I wanted to bring Save the Words to everyone's attention, because 1) words! adorable, adoptable words!, 2) it's November and if we're pounding out words we might as well give some a leg up from obscurity, and 3) go to 1, repeat.

I've adopted sinapistic, in part because it sounds kind of foreboding, and also because I like mustard. I mean, really, where can you go wrong with a foreboding-sounding word for "consisting of mustard"? Plus it's going to be a challenge to use to casually. "The Sunparlour Players are champions of pursuits both musical and sinapistic"? I'll have to think about it.

I also recommend "piladex." I had no idea there was a word for "a game in which an inflated bag is hit with hands to be kept aloft". It'd be a shame to lose a word that useful! For now I'm limiting myself to adopting only one word, though. At least until I leverage sinapistic back into common parlance.

I also owe [livejournal.com profile] apple_pathways a meme response:

1. Reply to this post and I will assign you a letter.
2. List/upload five songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions

I was given the letter S for sanity, which is, as always, questionable:

1. Summertime Clothes - Animal Collective
2. Scythian Empires - Andrew Bird
3. Sleeping on the Roof - The Flaming Lips
4. Seven Swans - Sufjan Stevens
5. Shortly Before the End - OK Go

I only changed each of those numbers about three times (I keep finding more I want to include! What of Sax Rohmer #1? Samson? Scenic World? San Francisco! Santa Fe! Starálfur! Some Fantastic! (I'm going to stop looking at my library now, because this is getting bad.) But hey, I managed to do it without including any songs from the Suburbs. That felt like cheating for some reason.

Also, I have an ulterior motive for number five up there. I kind of want an excuse to talk about my odd fascination with Of the Blue Colour of the Sky. Because, all right, OK Go is like, the one big-name band I knew before they were famous. I was stalking They Might be Giants, it was 2002 or so, and they were opening for them, and they always hung out outside the venue, being friendly and liberal with the hugs and so I adored them. Also their music was pretty good. (Hello, My Treacherous Friends was one of the main songs on the soundtrack to my high school existence.) By their second album I was kind of over it, though, and I let the internet have its way with them. I basically wouldn't have ended up with Of the Blue Colour... if I hadn't had a bunch of emusic downloads left at the end of last month. And... and... strangely, even though it is nothing like what I originally liked them for, I think it's actually a better album than either of the previous ones. I don't necessarily want to hard-wire it into my life, but it comes together as an album wonderfully. It's like, after all this time, they've finally hit their stride with making an album, rather than just clever singles and videos. (Am I already working on my Best Albums of 2010 list? Maaaaybe. Is it easier than last year's? Heck yes it is. Darnit, 2010.)
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Profile and introductions to various writerly activities still not written. I'll get around to this after I've burnt away more of this anger at my stupid alma mater. Until then... I have some more pictures of my lovely window garden now. My peas have gotten huge. And I have a tiiiiiiiny tomato sprout, finally. Along with more sunflowers and basil than I'll probably know what to do with. (And a stormtrooper poaching elephants.) By the way, that sweet potato? I bought it for Thanksgiving.

Aaaand since I have nothing else useful to say, here is a meme via [livejournal.com profile] flutingfrenzy.

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

Chicago )
live music )
mandolin )
Hughes )
LJ RP )
Today has been an adventure, dear internets. And I've realized that it makes me happy to feel like I'm on an adventure. I got up this morning, hopped into my interview clothes, and headed off to the bus stop. I felt like a ridiculous yuppie, and it got me to wondering if this apartment full of blonde girls at the bottom of the park is a harbinger of Things to Come for the people in this neighborhood. This is the direction of "progress" (or more accurately, gentrification) from the loop, since we're out of space to the north that isn't Evanston. I hope I didn't worry anyone, because the fact is I rather like this neighborhood the way it is. Except the blocks to the west of us could stand to be a few shades lighter on the crime map (as in, not something like red).

The first interview was more of a barrage of tests, interspersed with friendly conversation with the recruiter, who, sadly, didn't have anything for me at the moment, but promised to keep looking. I also found out, from the battery of tests, that there are things that can be done with Word that I never imagined, and that apparently even though I haven't used Excel for 6 years, my skills in it are better than my skills in Word (what?). Also, I can type, officially, 86 words per minute. Which is a freaking lot. I've been saying 65 forever. And apparently that's a lie. (That's right, Chicago. I type freaking fast. Now give me a job. I know you need a fast typist somewhere.)

The second interview was in an office on the 35th floor of the Prudential Building. The Prudential Building, in addition to overlooking Milennium Park, also has a view of the lake, and most of the South Loop. I'm not sure I'd have paid any attention to my interview if the office had had windows. But, thankfully, the room I was interviewed in didn't have windows, and it went fair enough. There is another round of interviews after this, and I may perhaps get called back, depending on how they react to my answers to their application survey. It reminded me a bit of the UofC application, in that it had some rather weird questions, including a bit where I had to come up with sentences for words, and it was very difficult for me not to write very weird ones. I think the worst I did was for trite, which was something like "Her treatment of the situation was very trite; she paid it no more mind than she did her neighbor's cat." Which really doesn't illustrate any understanding of the word, and is in fact an almost entirely wrong use of it (except that I would defend it by saying that her attention to the neighbor's cat was scant due to the repetition of her seeing it, and therefore trite). But I couldn't come up with a good actual sentence to use, and I liked the sound of that sentence, so hopefully they won't stop too long to think about how it's actually wrong. In fact, my biggest error (aside from having to call back after the interview to give the secretary the phone numbers for my references, as the page had fallen out of my notebooke) was probably the random answer I gave to their "Anything else we should know?" question (which was phrased in such a way as to encourage somewhat odd answers). It went something like "I can't in good conscience leave this blank, so you should know: * The 8 key on your calculator is stubborn. * I keep wanting to sketch the view from here, but I'm a horrible artist. * What I lack in artistic talent I make up for in wit. * Though sometimes it fails me on applications." I can imagine the conversation regarding this response going something like "And here's [livejournal.com profile] evilhippo's application. She misused the word trite and... appears to have been channeling Oscar Wilde at the end of her application. It's a shame he's about a hundred years past his prime." And then it'll be thrown in the bin. But at least I got to look out their windows. And I can hold out hope for the recruiter to find me a job.

Also, since I should make note of this, the second company did... get this... infomercials. The irony would be amazing (warning: link contains eye-bleeding color combinations, pop-up ads, and writing done by me approximately 9 years ago).

And, because I haven't done a meme in a while, and the results of this one, I believe, rather adeptly illuminate the precise nature of my current career problem, I present to you... The Internets Don't Know What I Should Do With Myself Either:

1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results

1. Office Machine Repairer
2. Technical Writer
3. Business Systems Analyst
4. Writer
5. Computer Trainer
6. Desktop Publisher
7. Video Game Developer
8. Historian
9. Furniture Finisher
10. ESL Teacher
And because it gets better )

Please, someone tell me they got results as mixed-up as mine. Because.... I'm not sure any of those overlap in groups larger than threes, and those groups don't seem to overlap each other at all. No wonder I'm so confused. Furniture finisher is in the top ten. What the heck? I have not seen anyone take this quiz and get such a mish-mash of results.

Obviously, I should drop everything and become a magician. (Which is tempting now, as I am reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrel, and though it took me a while to get into it, it's probably one of the best books I've read in quite a long time, and even though I'm not finished yet, I have a strong urge to recommend it to everyone I know, and probably will recommend it in great detail after I finish it.)
Hmm... it seems that lately I've been making shorter and shorter entries. I'm not going to claim to try to fix this right now, though. I'm just happy that I got back to the dorm at 6:30 and now it's almost ten and I haven't done anything. Actually... that's a pretty big lie. I cleaned the room, because I was tired of the crumbs on the floor and tripping over my dirty track clothes whenever I got out of bed. And I'll probably finish Nietzsche tonight because I have nothing better to do. Sitting in the library tomorrow's going to be a bit different without a paper or a midterm hanging over my head. Oh yeah... that dismal miserable math midterm? The average grade was about a 40%. That makes me feel marginally better about my 52% (ending up being a B+), but not a whole lot. I will never understand how math in college works, since for the most part very few people obviously understand much more than half of it. I could've done much better had I actually remembered the definitions of things, though. Could've had an A, darnit... but I'll deal with it. Like I always do.

I ordered my sister's train tickets today... which means for now I have about 80 dollars less than I should, but my mom promises to pay me back. And she's sending my paycheck along, which is 280 dollars. Woohoo! That ought to take care of me for the rest of the quarter (ie, pay for next quarter, really). I need to look into finding proper track spikes too... but for right now that's sort of superfluous. So... my sister's coming up to visit Valentine's Day weekend, because she's got a long weekend. And for some inexplicable reason she wants to come visit. Hehehe, I think if I was stuck back home I'd want to come visit, too. It ought to be fun. Though I swear if someone tries to offer her a drink I will see to it that they are rendered incapable of... umm... something that would make them miserable. Or I'll throw their copy of the Leviathan in the microwave again, since that seemed to throw off their psyche. He was teasing me about it tonight, and saying that it was unfortunate that for most people here having sex with her was statutory rape. I wanted to smack him. I understand he's just joking, but it is absolutely not funny. I'm probably a lot more protective of my sister than my mom in some respects, and joking about things like that is just crude. I told him if he even suggested anything I'd throw him off the Shoreland. (If I think go away at you enough, will you eventually understand?? How about this glare? Does that get the message across??)

OK, I've completely lost track of what I was saying, because he came in again and sat down next to me to watch whatever I was doing. Goshdarnit that annoys me to no end!!! There is no word for how much having people hovering over my shoulder while I'm online bothers me. AAAAARRRGH!!! Why... WHY CAN'T HE TAKE A HINT!!! I've even tried telling him to go away... he doesn't get it. Why??? Why me?? Why oh why oh why? Can't I just have someone non-creepy for once!? Why does the world hate me? Goshdarnit, when I finally find someone they'd better be super-special to make up for all this crap I have to go through with guys (POOF! Up go my standards again! At this rate, short of genetic engineering I will be very hard pressed to find anyone suitable).

Right... I wish I could remember what else I was going to talk about. I was on such a roll after that nice ramble about my sister. Even more people have suggested now that she get drunk with them. I don't know why this makes me so angry. I mean... she can drink if she wants to, I suppose. It's perfectly normal in the whole social scheme of things. But she's not really the social drinker sort, on account of not being terribly social... so if I found out she drinks I'd be rather concerned. And on some level I want to know that there is someone else that is always sober (and not allergic to alcohol) here. Even if she is related to me.

I think I'll stop rambling for now, since I don't have anything to talk about. I wasn't even at lunch long enough today to enjoy any sort of interesting conversations, since I was in such a hurry to get back here to write my evil paper of evilness. I'm tempted to turn this one rather strange picture of my RA into an icon, but that's pretty much borderline freaky, and should anyone here stumble upon this journal, I'd have to explain it. Explaining is never any fun.

Oh, and the quiz I was taking while being watched and annoyed:

I scored a 45% on the "How U of C are you?" Quizie! What about you?

I look forward to the day when I stop failing this. Perhaps there is a curve... a calculus-sized curve. I think the fact that I am a non-Asian, non-rich, non-Jewish varsity athlete (in the technical sense) who has been to Henry Crown on many occasions and that does not own a sword or talk in class probably has a lot to do with it. However, I can really only fix one of those things.
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evilhippo: hippo (Default)
»

Eee

( Nov. 9th, 2003 08:37 pm)
I feel so freaking sick, but I'm really not. Perhaps it is exhaustion? Perhaps it is because I am played by Bill Cosby in a sitcom?

My LiveJournal Sitcom
novel and popsicle (PBS, 5:00): evilhippo (Bill Cosby) buys muffins instead of PDAs, ruining rainbowgirl28 (Mary Stuart Masterson)'s day. That night, yoi (Phil Hartman) tries to seduce stephalina (Farrah Fawcett) at a diner. In the next town over, sketchyheart (Matthew McConaughey) tells tmbg (Jude Law) about Scientology. Later that day, ok_go (Mary Tyler Moore) lets chocolatemoose (Leelee Sobieski) borrow a fork to impress a hairdresser. That same day, guster (Jerry Seinfeld)'s new shirt bleeds in the wash and stains all of kovie (Bebe Neuwirth)'s underwear pink. TV-G.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)


It's rather amusing when bands are played by people of the completely opposite sex... or when they're played by a bizarre comedian. Hm.. So, Ben Folds rocked last night. I meant to write about it before, but just didn't get the chance to on account of celebrating people's birthdays with fire hazards and stolen t-shirts. I ended up going to the concert with my friend from French class, and by chance we ended up there an hour before doors, so we got pretty good seats. The only weird thing about the night was how everyone couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted to be standing or sitting. The general atmosphere pointed towards more standing, but I guess people were confused. I know I was confused. But it was fun, nonetheless. Far more laid-back than the other concerts I've been to. The crowd participation was great.

Oh! And I got my comments back on my second paper for Media Asthetics. I got an 86, which is far better than the 79 I got last time. My professor said mine was the most improved paper. I still have two more to write, so I hope I haven't set the bar too high for myself. I can, afterall, only clear about 4'6", though I have been told I can hit 5 if I try.

I feel rather bad that I missed the track team dinner tonight, but I felt like crap and decided I shouldn't pass this cold I have on to everyone else. I didn't cough on anyone at practice, but we weren't all that close to one another, then, either. At dinner, we would've been crammed into an apartment. All 11 of us. I'm not sure, but I think my high school track team had more people. That's insane. I wonder if we had a track meet against my high school, who would win. Probably us, since we're allowed to pole vault and triple jump. And we have more serious people. Hmm...

Bah, I think I'll go take a shower now. Yaaay, shower.
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